h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yuck. I have several complaints about this final piece, but I'll try to keep it short.

In the original piece (see entry A390935), I mentioned that you'll see a lot of odd characters in Waffle House. I never said drunks. That was added by the editor. Maybe he's right in some areas, but that bit wasn't something I contributed.

Secondly, I want to point out the bit of humor that was ruined by rephrasing. Compare: "...whether you hit a Waffle House in TX or Kentucky or Ohio, you can rest assured the waitresses are shipped fresh daily from Georgia." Apparently some people might have been confused that waitresses are literally shipped across the country! So the Official version becomes "you can rest assured the waitresses sound as if they've been shipped in fresh from Georgia." I picture a BBC World Service announcer reciting Hendrix lyrics, to clarify for the Official Guide Entry audience: "Sometimes I can feel my heart kind of...getting hot." (Not that the original Waffle House description was full of butterflies and zebras and moonbeams, but you get the point.)

Final problem is the blurring of research and hype. In a long, silly footnote in the original version of this entry, I quoted a big chunk of propaganda from wafflehouse.com, clearly attributed to that source. I thought it was mildly interesting because it was mildly smarmy marketing. In The Official version, the sentences are worked into the body of the whole piece, not exactly word-for-word, but the exact kind of insignificant changes that saves you from getting accused of plagiarism on a high school history paper. Now it seems like bona fide research, no indication that it's all hype, or that these bits should be viewed strictly as hype.

...Okay, there, I'm done bitching. If you really want to see a writer bitching about his editor and the mangled finished product they published, read "But What Of Earth?" by Piers Anthony. First half is a novel, second half is footnotes on each little change that the editor made on crappy first edition. I'll admit they screwed him over, but who wants to read it after the fact? Then again, if you're still reading this, you might like it.

I'm sorry if you feel that the editors have changed your entry, but I have to say, we in the office were practically drooling over this entry. Waffle houses sound wonderful. Certainly not the kind of entry you can read easily when you're hungry. We all had to send out for muffins!

Everyone, including Editors, can add their two penn'oth to entries. That's the nature of the Guide, especially now that the Peer Review system is in place. Being in the UK we can't contribute to this one, but we can rely on those sub-editors based in the US to lend a hand, and I think that Jimi X did a good job. As for anglicizing the entry, well, that would be me, our house style is British English and so we tend to remove colloquialisms.

It looks like 'But What Of Earth?' is required reading for all of us. I'll look out for it!

Best, Anna

Thanks for the kind words Anna.

I've found in most 24-7 eating establishments you'll find a fair collection of drunks after closing time at the local watering hole - and Waffle Houses are no exception. I think you'll find that the comments in the other thread will also be included into this entry when the update rolls through here - especially that bit about requiring managers to have four-wheel drive vehicles to pick up employees in bad weather.

That's the beauty of the Guide - it's a collaborative process in which all the entries are held to be fluid works which can be updated whenever a new fact comes up. And everybody who adds to the entry gets credit as a Researcher for that entry.

I'm sorry if you felt that I hacked up your prose, but honestly some bits could be a bit confusing. Remember that we've got Researchers on-site who don't speak English as a first (and sometimes even second or third) language. Clever wording like they ship waitress in fresh from Georgia can easily confuse a non-native English speaker - that's why I changed it.

Keep contributing! As Anna said, this was a great piece!!

- X

Not everyone would get the joke.

Sorry I overreacted. The thing that had me really worried was for a few days when this entry was pending, it looked like the edited guide entry was the only one listed on my personal space -- the old, raw entry was gone or in limbo or something. But I guess as long as they're both on h2g2 somewhere now, it's not a big deal.

I still feel conflicted over this whole idea of "approved" entries. Seems elitist, when there's already a perfectly democratic, if anarchic, system where readers can read all unapproved entries on any subject. Seems like at least a more democratic way to make entries "official" (theoretically more useful to the average reader) would be to have readers vote on entries a la Amazon.com reviews. But then people could easily cheat and vote for themselves under pseudonyms, different login names, whatever.

To Anna: No, don't read BUT WHAT OF EARTH! It's only worth reading for people who are hardcore Piers Anthony fans, or those in publishing who would enjoy reading 20,000 words or so of a writer pedantically complaining about his editor. I assume this would be tedious for someone who must already listen to more than enough complaining writers already. (Not that you specifically give them cause to complain. I only mean to say all writers complain, no matter the talents of their editors.)

I just want to point out that the original author may have been closer by refering to the "interesting characters." I know of several in my area which have become havens for geeks suffering insomnia. I used to sit in a Waffle House for hours at a time with a good book and a chess board set in front of me in a booth. You would be amazed at the number of pretty good chess players strolling around at 3 in the morning. While you will usually encounter at least one drunk, the ones I frequent are much more interesting due to the sober characters in there who are willing to discuss/debate almost anything under the sun.

Sounds very civilised - do you think it depends on area?

Yeah, there are too many different locations to make accurate generalizations about all of them. But the few I've gone to have delivered food of a consistent quality, and the staff have been fairly friendly. The whole style of the place is different from most other franchised restaurants, old-fashioned, but in a good way. So it attracts a different kind of customer and maybe a different kind of staff. Except late at night, the customer demographic changes because it may be the only place open 24 hours.

I think Cafe Rouge has the same effect over here (though they're not open in the middle of the night). The look of the place is manufactured, but French in style and the food's good, there's a very relaxed atmosphere, there's art on the walls. Good for breakfast on Sunday mornings

hmmm now most of the ones I have been to at 2 or 3 am have their fair share of drunks...usualy the people I was with...but even drunk the convos..cards and chess are usualy good ways to have fun


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fav food...double waffles with hashbrowns all the way...with a large glass of sweet tea no ice

I need to do some more research. Can hashbrowns be ordered "all the way," or do you have to shout each codeword? Is the tea sweetened by default (Southern style), or only if you ask for it?

Unfortunately, the farthest north that I've found them is Toledo. And they don't quite have a monopoly on vanilla coke anymore.

having moved to the north...I have to make sure I say sweet tea...because only rarely do they actualy have it...they will say something like...oh we have ice tea and there is sugar on the table... it's not the same....but no in the south if you order an iced tea it will come out sweet...you have to ask for unsweet....and you can order the food all the way...most of the waitresses will call out the order the using all the words though..and because it's the waitress job to top it with chile they often forget anyway...we had one waitress that just called it scuddlebut and the cook would know what to do...and I think I have heard them call it all the way before


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I have eaten in some WAFFLE HOUSE locations in eastern US, and they served good food at reasonable prices. Then, I moved to Arizona! One trip to a WAFFLE HOUSE here was enough...the steak was almost tender enough to make shoe soles and waffles tasted sort of doughy.