h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Most girls who use the electric toothbrush have one in 'reserve' for that particular activity The ones where you can swap the heads around are particularly useful. Just as long as you don't get them mixed up.

I did get a bit shocked when somebody on here mentioned using their son's.

They did? Oh my. I missed that post!

So if you can get away with buying vibrators, can I also buy porn mags without having to worry if the check out lady thinks I'm a pervert?

Bah. Who cares what the checkout lady thinks?

Hmm, I do.

Psh. Just be proud. March right up to the checkout with magazines in hand and declare to the world in a righteous voice - "I am buying pornography!"



Okay. Maybe it's not best to do that. But seriously folks. If there's pr0n in the store, the checkout lady's seen it all before. If you're just casual and don't make a big deal out of it, then she's not going to care.

Well, it depends on what you buy, doesn't it? I mean *Playboy* is one thing, but *I Only Have Eyes For Ewe* is another, isn't it?

In that case, just go with the booming tone of righteousness - "I Am Buying Pornography!". If you're going to make a spectacle of yourself, might as well do it with style.

"...and throw this righteous 10 speed, overdrive, 220 volt love bunny in the bag!"?

"...And be quick about it, for I have much masturbation in which to indulge."

I'd pay to see that.



*Got any industrial sized tins of lubricant?*

Oh dear me. This is too much. Someone should really stop us.

....and then *she* would switch on the store public address system and say "Price check for the big vibrator at check-out 2, please!"

(Couldn't sleep)

Many moons ago, I went shopping at the local sex shop (which, incidentally, is owned by one of my closest friends) with my hubby and one of my female friends. While he perused the video section, my friend and I wandered around, checking out the vibrators and dildoes. Much to my amusement, I found this enormous black leather, double-ended dildo with 'The Ginsu' embossed on it in shiny silver Oriental-style lettering. I held it up in the air, and shouted out to hubby 'Hey, Dave, can I get THIS one?'... and for the first time ever succeeded in making the man blush.

My friend and I wound up purchasing The Ginsu, and using cable ties, attached it to the grille on her car, in the manner of bullhorns, and there it remained for quite a while. It was eventually confiscated by the police during a traffic stop.

Fantastic!!!!!!

Any photos of it in place? Sorry to hear of its demise

I'm not sure if either of us has any photos, but I'll have a look see. If I find any, I'll be sure to let you know!

The funny thing is exactly *how* The Ginsu came to be confiscated in the first place. One night, after a bout of drinking, my friend and I thought it would be terribly clever to put condoms on either end of it. Driving home down Lake Shore Drive that night, one of the condoms blew off, and by some bizarre fluke, landed on the windshield of a Chicago police car in the next lane over. We were pulled over, The Ginsu was taken away, and my friend received a ticket for littering.

Littering with intent

I think that's deeply suspicious; the police confiscating vibrators. They already have all the best drugs. Next they'll be confiscating pink rubber hotpants and poppers...and what are the chances that any of it makes it back to the evidence room? I don't think so. Plus they have their own little lay-bys. It's all making perfect sense now isn't it?

Deeply suspicious...deeply disturbing...

Maybe the officer in question is using it for a billy club? It would make a most intimidating weapon. Would *you* report an officer for bludgeoning you with a large dildo? I think not...

Another good use for a vibrator... My last roommate (before I moved in with the pain I've got now) used to steal from me all the time, so I took to removing one of the batteries from my vibrator, and hiding cash rolled up inside. I figured no one would think to look there, and even if they did, they weren't likely to want to touch it.