h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

D'OH! Er, sorry.

[Setor] It is /you/ who should be cautios.

*The train rapidly approaches an obviously brand new junction in the tracks. A Gecko Warrior stands by the junction, activates a remote control, and the tracks move. The train moves along the altered course, and the track behind them returns to its original position. The train enters a tunnel leading deep underground*

KL-It's too late now, Afgncaap5. I couldn't stop this if I wanted to.

*Affy ponders this before coming up with a solution that should be mutually beneficial to everyone*

Affy-How about this? Three way solitairy battle, according to the rules of the doppleganger effect? Winner takes all.

KL-Hmmmm...I suppose that might be interesting. We'd need some extra ground rules to prevent cheating. Who would the combatants be?

Affy-Most likely the two of us for one of the battles, possibly GL and BBW for another one, maybe one of our clones Vs. your clones.

KL-And the stakes?

Affy-Just like I said, winner takes all. For now. We win, you and your minions return the train to its rightful course, destroy whatever base you're controlling this place from, and leave for no less than a month. I'll get to keep the picture, but it'll just be in a picture album, and not where the whole world can see it. You win, CHOPPERS and company leaves, and you can have the rails.

*The Krylma Leader grins, and extends his hand*

KL-Deal. My underlings may be a tad dissapointed that it won't be a full fledged battle royal, but we'll leave more civilians standing this way. I have the perfect arena for our combat in the base we've just entered.

*Affy and KL unlock the control room, and announce their idea, awaiting two more volunteers from each side*

</>

Shrugs and steps forward...

Though if a non-rookie wishes to step in for me that might be wiser...

*GL steps out from around the corner of a piece of machinery. He holsters his snowzar.*

Well, Affy. A deal is a deal. We might have beaten them anyway, since I had the drop on KL here, but your plan has merit. *Turns to KL* I assume you can get BBW here, KL..

*Turns to Inkwash*
You're very brave to volunteer, but I think this battle has to be between pairs of, um, dopplegangers/clones/alter-egos. You could referee, though.

So that's what he meant by doppelganger...

No, I think I'll sit this one out.

*An inner door opens and BBW steps out. He nods to KL and glares at GL.*

I heard it all on the monitors.

If we could get YK and Y2K, that might be easiest. Inkwash could do it, though. It's just easier to have two beings face if if they both know each others skills equally.

Anyway, we need two more fighters.

[YK] I'm in.

[Y2K] Me too.

[Setor] Good. We need two more fighters.

[Disembodied feminine voice] Ahem.

[Setor looks around]

[A young woman with black hair and a dark purple ninja outfit steps out from behind thin air. Her name is Janine]

[Janine] Here's one more fighter.

[YK] Janine!

[Setor] You are a Ninja?

[Janine] Yes. You are a Krath'Dalu?

[Setor] Yes ... perhaps, finally, the martial arts of Krath'Da and Ninja will be tested against each other.

Oops ... heh heh ... Let's say that as KL was giving us the rules, YK and Mackenzie materialized.

Erm, okay, but we only needed two more, not four more. Fighters, I mean, not groups.


*The fighters make their way out of the train and, after several slow minutes of walking through the underground complex, come to a giant arena, surrounded by giant gears on one side, a ridiculously long fall from another side, the spike-encrusted wall that has the door on it on another side, and a vaporization field on the other side*

KL-This is a place where I have recently trained some of my Gecko warriors. I believe it will suffice. Now, who's fighting first?

[The trainer walks to the back of the train with them]

[YK and Y2K] [in stereo] Me!

[They race toward each other and collide. The screen gets all pixellated, the resolution decreasing, accompanied by a staticky noise and a sort of beep going up the scale. If you've played any of the SNES Final Fantasy games, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, it becomes an FF-style battle sequence. The following MIDI sequence becomes heard as YK and Y2K start fighting, each with their double-bladed lightsabers]

http://www.thescifivine.com/~Ted_Lars/link/Boss.mid

[YK and Y2K] [in stereo] Me!

[They race toward each other and collide. The screen gets all pixellated, the resolution decreasing, accompanied by a staticky noise and a sort of beep going up the scale. If you've played any of the SNES Final Fantasy games, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, it becomes an FF-style battle sequence. The following MIDI sequence becomes heard as YK and Y2K start fighting, each with their double-bladed lightsabers]

http://www.thescifivine.com/~Ted_Lars/link/Boss.mid

*The members of STUMPED and CHOPPERS cheer on their respective comrade*