h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*After weeks of careful planning and plotting, The Krylma Leader throws a switch, and the entire system gets shut down. People on the tracks are quickly ushered off by Gecko Warriors, just before the force fields come on. KL quickly assigns a robot to restart the train's operations, and place a flag on the train*

I hereby claim this train system in the name of STUMPED!

[A nondescript Chiss officer enters]

[Sayden] Congradulations, Krymla Leader. I see you are coming along nicely. I am General Baron Yeksaydenuko. My core name is Sayden. My commander, Lord Byancbaldich, has instructed me to help you.

*A hoverbot hovers nearby, unnoticed. Its cameras relay everything that happens back to some headquarters base.*

[A young Pokémon trainer enters as well. He has five Poké Balls]

(Meanwhile Inkwash rounds up the bewildered passengers of the trains, moves them a safe distance away, and diverts incoming trains to avoid fatal catastrophe)

[Setor] There seems to be some resistance, however.

[The trainer nods, starts in response to something, a telepathic message perhaps, and composes himself]

You bet there's resistance!

I hereby proclaim this area to be CHOPPER-protected.

*GL changes into wolf form and begins to sniff out the source of the force fields. His nose leads him to a nondescript ramshackle hut in a clearing in the nearby woods. From the outside, it looks derelict, but GL's nose indicates that there is more there than what appears. Cautiously he approaches ... *

WHAT force fields, GL?

Captured by STUMPED and protected by CHOPPERS? There seems to be a MAJOR problem with this......

The force fields that KL has guarding the tracks.


*Affy, meanwhile, had been tracking KL for the several months of plotting, and had been hiding very well in the control room. KL enters, knowing that he should get the train to a STUMPED base that he's got along the tracks several kilometers from here, enters the control room, and locks the door behind him. He grins, pulls down his hood, and puts on one of those big floppy hats. He then goes over to a big pull cord, and blows a whistle. KL grins, and then activates the train*

KL-All aboard for the STUMPED express!

*Affy steps out from the shadows, and takes a picture of KL wearing that ridiculous hat. KL pauses for a moment (with the train already started), and slowly notices the camera. Horrified at what could happen soon, he draws his sword and extends his hand*

KL-Give me the camera. NOW!

[The trainer -- er, has gone on the train. ]

*Affy shakes his head*

Sorry, Leatherhead, but...

*Affy noticed how KL bristled at being reffered to as Leatherhead*

Sorry, KL, but I've got a picture of the most influential and devious villain on h2g2 wearing an old fashioned train conductor's hat and acting like a kid with a new toy as soon as you got to the controls. This has *got* to be worth more than a few threats. I'm not sure what I'll do with it, but I'm pretty sure I could circulate a few hundred emails, maybe get it in the next edition of the POST, place it on webpages owned by friends of mine,...

*KL scowls, and lunges at Affy, who would have been totally unprepared had it not been for his sword. Affy is still in a tight pinch, however, with KL already pushing him against a wall (uncomfortably close to the window, I might add.)

[OOC] It's his ultra-ego!

[Setor takes out a blaster and points it in Affy's face]

[... just to cover for KL]

*Affy wonders, for a moment, how this person came into the locked control room, but decides he can overlook that peice of broken continuity. Affy happens to glance out the window, and sees something interesting*

Hey, Minos! I think we've passed your stop.

*This distracts KL just enough for Affy to wrench away KL's sword and quickly slice off the gun that had been in his face mere moments before. Affy tosses KL's sword back to him, and grins*

Made ya look! Anyway, do that again, and the consequences will be most unpleasant.

*Affy connects the camera to his wristwatch, and downloads it*

Do it again, and I'll upload this into the Ether-Net. All it's take is flexing my wrist. Now, tell me this Minos, is this set of rails really important enough to risk your reputation?

Other members of CHOPPERS are positioned around the locked cabin (on the roof, by the door, under the windows, etc..) waiting for one false move by the STUMPED villain...

*Meanwhile, GL is still approaching the cabin in the woods (not to be mistaken with the cabin on the train where Affy and KL are - I would guess that the cabin in the woods is the STUMPED base that KL was referring to, since the force fields eminate from it). GL changes back into human form and creeps up to the back door of the cabin. The door is ajar, but GL's trained eyes notice the thin wire stretched across the opening. He quickly disarms the classic booby trap and gently pushes the door open just enough to slip through. Inside, instead of seeing the broken-down remains of a cabin, GL sees concrete walls and the open doors of an elevator. GL steps into the elevator and turns around to look for the controls. As he turns, the doors close and the elevator starts down. Seeing no controls, GL assumes that the elevator is automatic and simply waits. Finally the elevator stops and the doors open. GL's jaw drops...*