h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I spent a significant chunk of my childhood in India, and while I definitely agree that driving there should initially be left to the locals, I think that's only true until you've had time to figure out the rules on your own. Believe it or not, there are actually rules (of course those rules are entirely unwritten and rely primarily on your willingness to follow them).

The first, and most important, rule to remember is that the larger the vehicle, the more right of way it has. Therefore, buses have more of a right to the road than vans, and vans more than cars, and cars more than rickshaws. Cows are above everything, and if you're planning to be on foot, it's probably safer to just stay home.

The second rule is that you must, at all times, firmly believe that you will triumph. It doesn't matter if you're driving down the wrong way of a one way street with a large truck drivin towards you and a median strip between you and safety -- you must know in your heart that you have the right to be there, and the truck driver has no choice but to stop. (Of course, the truck driver will have the same conviction, so it's also a matter of how long you can hold onto that belief).

Also, don't forget that you horn is your only way to communicate with other drivers. Don't bother with a blinker -- they won't pay attention to it. Don't expect them to see when they're coming too close to your car, it's your responsibility to tell them. Just honk! It's the universal language of drivers in India, so have fun with it

And finally, ignore the lines on the pavement -- lines are only for beginners. Once you really know how to drive, you should be able to easily squeeze your car between two large buses with only a couple of inches of space on each side!

Just remember, driving in India is an eternal race -- it doesn't matter where you're going, as long as you're the first one to get there!

Yes, it is so !!

And faith must be the one and only force that pushes the whole of Indian society forward.....no matter if your Hindu, Muslim, Jain, Sikh, Christian, Animist...or what ever; if you have faith you will conquer and win.......what ever you take on. And if it is a head-on collision you wish to avoid, and at the same time don't feel you have the time to slow down.........have faith and you shall arrive home on time !!!

So, if you are stupid enough to take on driving in India...choose the largest TATA lorry around, bedeck the rear mirror and a large part of the space in front of the passanger seat with all sorts of religious parafernalia of your faith, light more than a few inscense sticks, and rabble "Ave Marias" or the equivilent....all to keep your faith........and you may survive.

If you prefer to walk..and not risk yourself in a vehicle of any sort....stay close to a cow. You will most probably not get to your planned destination...though you will most likely survive !!!

When I first arrived in India, I was paralyzed as the cab careened around hairpin blind corners on a mountainous narrow road (I landed in Calicot) But it suddenly occurred to me that this was the driver's entire livelihood - he could not afford to lose his cab. So I relaxed and enjoyed it. I found that - in Kerala anyway - people moved an inch or so toward the side when we came up behind them and honked the horn - and let us squeeze through - even trucks and buses. Moreover, although it seemed like a blur sometimes, no one actually approached the speeds common in the West. During three weeks there I saw only one (non-serious) accident. I admit I wouldn't want to drive myself, but I thought it all worked very well, even though I usually did not understand the pattern. Just keep telling yourself that your driver can not afford an accident, and enjoy...

It's all to do with faith...and the after life.... they drive like this because they believe in the after life... doesn't matter if they get killed... they get another chance... and boy is that scary!!!

Offensive riding, taking on the law and road is the key for a successful ride in India

And i think you have absolutely no idea about what you are talking about.