Cow Jokes
Created | Updated Dec 15, 2009
Back To So Long, And Thanks For Laughing
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Cow Jokes
Do you know why they are called udders?
When you are about to milk the cow, first you grab one, then you grab the udder one...
Deep Cow Thoughts:
If you tell a cow a joke, and she finds it funny... Will milk come out her nose?
Seen on a Bumper Sticker:
"Montana - At least our cows are sane!"
Trigonometry for farmers:
swine and cowswine.
Q. Why were the cows mad at their farmer?
A. He had no consideration for the feelings of udders.
What do get from a cow with no back legs?
Dragon Milk.
What do you get from a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef.
Two cows where in a feild and one said to the other:
"Are you worried about this mad cow diease?"
The other replied, "It doesn't bother me, I'm a duck!"
This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The following
answers were given to the questions on the claim form:
* What warning was given by you?
Horn
* What warning was given by the other party?
Moo
Cow Ecconomy
Feudalism
- You have two cows.
- Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism
- You have two cows.
- The government takes both, hires you to take care of them
and sells you the milk.
Communism
- You have two cows.
- You must take care of them, but the government takes all the
milk.
Capitalism
- You have two cows.
- You sell one and buy a bull.
- Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
- You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron
- You have two cows.
- You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from
your bank, then buy another cow with 5% down and the rest
financed by the seller on a note callable if your market cap
goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime. - You now sell three cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. - The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company.
- The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more and this transaction process is upheld by your independent auditor and no Balance Sheet provided with the press release that announces that Enron as a major owner of cows will begin
trading cows via the Internet site COW (cows on web)...
| So Long, And Thanks For Laughing |
