Yep I survived the festive season and am back in the glorious city of Manchester. Xmas taught me one thing; if you have a plan, that works, stick to it.

For the past 3 years, like the sheep we are, we've gone to a dull Irish pub in a corner of Brentwood, Essex for Xmas Eve. This was mainly 'cause it was a dive and nobody really wanted to go there to celebrate, meaning we could have a decent chat and friendly drink.

This year we changed and what happened? Nothing! No night out! No pubs would let us in, or wanted £20 for the pleasure of our company. So both Xmas Eve and New Year's Eve were spent in front of a tv with cheap continental lagers.

As a result I didn't spend vast amounts of cash, didn't end up hungover and didn't come home smelling of beer and fags. My coat wasn't coated with spilt alcohol and misplaced takeaways and nobody was pushed down a hill in a trolley.

While wandering about the High Street on Brentwood we were considering wandering into the Littentree pub. However, one look at their door staff gave us second thoughts.

A fight broke out between a few blokes outside the pub. Well, in truth, it broke out between three guys in one group and another guy, who ended up with his head smashed into the wall of the pub. And the bouncers just stood and watched. I felt fairly guilty for having to walk away. There was, however, no way that I would get involved with a fight including four drunk and aggressive blokes and tell three bouncers how to do their job.

There was a recent case in Swinton, Manchester, when a birthday party was thrown out of Yates after complaining about a purse snatching. At the end of the night, they were waiting for transport when five bouncers came up and attacked the group, knocking over women and beating a man to death. That Yates' Wine Lodges will employ brutal gangs of thugs, gives as good a reason as any to avoid the chain.

The dust has barely settled from this when I was shocked at what I read in the paper this morning. An association of bar and pub owners are protesting that door staff in the city are now having to be licensed. They have to pass exams, know 1st aid and have to have no criminal convictions. Apparently the pubs and bars of Manchester think that having staff with a roughboy history is beneficial for business.

On this theory, lets have... hmm...

• All accountants should have been bankrupt at least twice

• All judges should have been in prison

• Shop security guards should have been caught for shoplifting

• Aircrash investigators should all have been very bad pilots

Till next time

Love, peace and blues

tjm

Mancunian Blues Archive

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