h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

First off, this made my Christmas, because your writing of it is breathtakingly stunning (and I hadn't had the pleasure before). Ah, to find someone who knows the word 'desuetude', *and can spell it*...

As a furriner unfamiliar with these sinewy fellers intimidating each other with close harmony, I was fascinated with the story behind the hymn I used to play, from the age of 12, as a 'church pianist'.

I put the word 'church' in quotes, because you would call it 'chapel'. Baptist, not Methodist.

I have played that song in worse places than Capel Rhondda. Far, far worse. Storefronts. A garage, with Pekingese dogs in attendance. Tents. A cemetery gazebo, once.

Imagine if you will the upright piano dragged out onto the lawn of a suburban tract house turned chapel. The Samsonite folding chairs are arranged in rows. There is no tent, for no rain is predicted.

During the sermon, a neighbouring German Shepherd comes to join the sparse congregation, sitting demurely at the end of a row of chairs. The lady in the row is nervous, but the dog is well-behaved, eerily attentive. I get up to play the Invitation Hymn, something like 'Softly and Tenderly Jesus Is Calling'.

The lady worries that the dog will answer the call, walk up the aisle and shake hands with the pastor. Thankfully, he does not.

The angels must have been watching, and known that dog was a Lutheran.