h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry to drop in two years late but I couldn't resist it. Bolts are bolts - not threaded to the head. If they are they are machine screws. Use bolts where shear is a consideration - machine screws in shear tend to get their threads flattened and get slack. Also don't forget high strength friction bolts - connections are made by clamping the mating surfaces together so tight that they hold by friction - no shear on the bolt. Much used in steel frame buildings.
Nice article - many congratulations on excluding the old nut screws washers and bolts joke. I wish I was so disciplined.
Phil

Fastenating.

BTW, I seem to remember (I was verrry young during the Industrial Revolution) that before the first standard metal screw was fabricated to control a lath, each nut and bolt were cut to fit each other and were not standard at all, even in the same shop by the same mechanic. And long before that, (when I was extremely verrrry young) nuts were odd shaped bits of metal with holes cut in them and lead wire wound inside the hole to create threads - the bolt was a smooth shaft with lead wire wound around it. I believe you can see these on Knights armor in museums.

Oh, Good Lord, I hope that wasn't too tedious of me. Better tell that joke

Please, no jokes. Fastenating is pretty painful on a cold grey Monday morning.
BTW why do the Americans insist on inch sizes when so much of what they buy comes from Europe or the Far East. No UNF threads on a Mercedes or a Nissan. That said I did buy an electric garage door opener from Wickes which was made in Germany but used all UNC fasteners. Must have been designed for the US.

Phil

I have no idea why we insist on inch sizes. It is truly puzzling. Mechanics have to keep two full sets of sockets, wrenches, etc. so there is some money to be made in that I guess, but practical reasons? I dunno. The bolts, nuts and screws here are generally made, I think, in China anyway so it's not as though we would need to retool our shops - we would just have to change our specs: 'I would like metric nuts & bolts please.'

But, okay, here is a theory: You have perhaps noticed how mindlessly nationalistic we can be. And perhaps you heard about how our Congress had an item on their lunch menu changed from 'French Fries' to 'Freedom Fries' after France inexplicably didn't want to follow our man-child president into war. So it may be that after someone mentioned that the French have metric nuts, we decided we would only have Freedom Nuts. Well, it's just a theory. Cheers

Freedom nuts? Now that's a concept on many levels. Is this a train of thought I should go down? Oh well, nothing ventured, I'm pretty flame proof here in the UK but just in case here's a big hello to those good people at GCHQ (the UK Government Listening Station in Cheltenham).
How about Freedom Nuts issued to the US military at Guantanamo - just like ordinary nuts except they only fasten after due legal process. They could be stamped HB (for habeus corpus) for identification purposes.

Ho ho. I like that. So one is secured, as it were, with a freedom nut. This fits very well with the new conservative (neocon) habit of meaning the exact opposite of what is said. For example, 'We are only protecting your rights' actually means 'We are only making sure that you will have no rights whatsoever.'

BTW, I think the correct term, in the context of guantanamo bay, is 'hocus pocus' and not 'habeas corpus.' Presenting the prisoner to the judge used to go something like, 'here's the prisoner' But now, it goes something more like, 'We'll bring out the prisoner in a moment your honor, but first with the help of my lovely assistant I will ...' You get the idea.

And to whomever may be monitoring, don't worry, this thread is just nuts.