h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have noticed over the last couple of years that United states Major Leage Baseball must be using a new more advanced for of math. Unlike the rest of use, whom have had only one first birthday, kiss, new car, wife, etc, majorleague baseball has found a way to allow many "first" pitches of a ball game. For example, in the Cardinals vs Cubs game in St. Louis on 8/14/99, no less than 4 "first" pitches were thrown, First by a member of the "Mac Attack" fan club, followed by actor Hal Linden (TV's "Barney Miller"), then followed by an unknown stand in, and finally the president of Southwest Airlines. There possibly could have been more, but I was distracted by the Bud light guy, and then the beer. If I remember my preschool math, 1st, only happens once. So how do you have 4 1st pitches? I wonder if this happens in other pitching events such as Horseshoes and Cricket?

I believe the record for first pitches was set by the Reading Phillies (Eastern League, Double-A) a couple years back. I attended a game there in which no fewer than 14 first pitches were thrown.

I see no harm in this practice provided that the official scorer doesn't start timing the game until there's an umpire standing behind the catcher to signal "Play!" and the home team's pitcher actually winds up and delivers the first pitch. And it helps if that first pitch is at roughly the scheduled time, and not delayed by all those other first pitches.

So how would you account for the other pitches? If the true first pitch is no.1, would the pitch be fore that then be pitch no. 0? preceeded by negative one, two etc.

The proper way to enumerate the first pitches thrown prior to the first pitch is to use a system similar to the rule book. The Official Rules use a decimal system such as:

1.02 The object of the game is to win by scoring more runs than the opponent.

6.10 A League may elect to use the Designated Hitter Rule.

In the interest of clarity, I present rule 0: The first pitches before the first pitch shall be numbered consecutively, in accordance with this section, 0.01, 0.02, etc. Should the number of pre-first pitch first pitches exceed 99, the general manager shall be (a) assessed a 15-yard penalty for delaying the start of a half, or (b) taken out behind the visitors' clubhouse and shot, at the visiting manager's discretion.

The lot of you have it all wrong. Each time there's more than one "first pitch," there has, in fact, been a rip in the space/time continuum. Due to this phenomenon I once saw Bob Feller explode. He was replaced by the Philly Fanatic.

Perhaps this was some sort of gimmic/ruse, and I was taken in by it?