h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i have always used a brush and cake of shaving soap to prepare my beard.

first, working the soap right down to the roots and pores is as important as the quality of the product used. Even normal bar soap can give reasonable results if properly applied; simply squirting even very good foams or gels onto your whiskers doesn't do the trick.

but more, there is a certain sensuality and elegance that an aerosol cannot match. right down to the can sitting on the shelf, shaving foam is unaesthetic.

as for the implement itself however, no antique ivory-handled straight razor for me; they're dangerous, hard to maintain, ineffective. it's a bic classic. how a piece of orange plastic can be called "classic" is a wonderment, but frankly, it's the best. anything else is either a useless gimmick or a shoddy substitute.

the third to sixth shaves are the best. the first couple of times it's too sharp, after that it slowly loses effectiveness. depending upon how well you prepare your whiskers, you can use it from 15 to 30 times.

don't neglect the water temperature: too hot and your scalded skin is just begging to be nicked and cut. too cold and the beard is not soft enough; pain, blood and a scratchy face are not the only results of this capital blunder: the razor edge will be ruined, and you can throw your plastic classic away, it will never give a good shave again.

gentlemen, living you do only once and shaving you do every day, so do it right! (not talking to the beardy cro-magnon sorts here...)

ladies, sorry. this is a pleasure sometimes mixed with pain that nature has reserved to us. you have childbirth, so no reason to feel slighted!

Sounds like a whole new entry in itself right there!

Not only do we get childbirth, but we get legs too (which require a blade occasionally, though granted not daily). At least you guys can *see* everything you're shaving!