h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Gettysburg Address - Update for A306965 - A7966308
Author: VP Jodan - Now the wheel has turned again. - U201497

Intended update to A306965
I really don't like that entry very much. Having finished a very good book on Lincoln a couple of months ago, I was all primed to write an entry on him, but then I realized I'd already done that. Thrice.

But I took a look at A306965, and gawdy, it's not very good. First of all, some people will say that Lincoln said 'brought forth *on* this continent', but I'm certain he said 'brought forth *upon* this continent'. And second of all, that entry has absolutely no analysis or appreciation, when it absolutely should.

So, well, take it or leave it. I've added the credits tag for the original author and dropped by his page (F32750?thread=1778382) to let him know.

"He announced his intention..." This sentence is garbled somehow, and I don't understand it. I am not sure what you mean here, so I don't have a suggestion for improving it.

The date of the Declaration of Independence is different from the date of the adoption of the Constitution. An American reader might get your allusion here, but a foreigner might not. Is that intentional?

Take a look at that sentence now.

I don't think it has much to do with the Constitution. 1776 is generally given as the year American became a nation. I know I think America was an indepedent country in 1776 - well before the Constitution was adopted.

Oi! Did you happen to read the comments attached to the entry? http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F38323?thread=185782 Some good stuff in there that you might want to include. Also, I found calling him 'Abe' in the first reference was a bit off-putting. - Jimi X

Really? Abe offputting? Okay, I'll change it.

Can you get me a source for that smallpox thing?

I'll work on this a bit later tonight. My computer's acting up right now So I'll have to get back to this in a few hours...

You can find information about it at the following:

http://www.doctorzebra.com/prez/g16.htm

http://www.888webtoday.com/joyce4.html

After 20 hours without a computer (it was a harrowing experience ) I've changed that Abe to Abraham and added a paragraph at the very end about the smallpox. (which conveniently gave me an excuse to link to my WH Harrison entry

Great update, Jodan!

"On Thursday, 19 November, 1863 was the consecration ceremony for some new cemetery grounds near the great battlefield."

Wouldn't this make more sense as "The following day, Thursday, 19 November, 1863 was the consecration ceremony for some new cemetery grounds near the great battlefield."?

Also, I don't think you'v actually said "The Gettysburg Address was a famous speech" or something similar, you seem to assume that everyone knows what you are referring to. Us foreigners are less likely to know.

Just a thought.

Done and Done
I guess I got carried away in the intro, as I'm prone to do and forgot the absolute basics.

La la la la Whoooo!

And I'm back in the room. So, are you happy for this to become the updated entry, Jodan, or are you still after more feedback?

And I'm back onsite (see journal)

Well, if it were my decision, I'd say it's an excellent entry and will be an asset to the guide.
Which is why it's probably a good thing you don't leave it up to me, eh? Let's leave it in here for a little while longer, if that's okay? If no one comes after a while I'll just blame it on society or something and we'll look at moving it along again.

Well, I'll see how things go this week and then on my next drop-in here I'll make the decision then.

But right now I feel inclined to agree with you

In general, it looks fine to me, Jodan. I have one little nit-picky thing:

<>

This should say '...his famous speech, *the* Gettysburg Address...' with 'Address' capitalised.

Yes, it should have, and now it does

Anybody out there?

I'm not!

But if I were I'd say that this looks good to me!

Just read it over again, it looks peachy keen and ready to Update.

Oui. Wheeeee!

Someone moved the corridor that leads to here and I've only just found the new route.

(That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it)

This entry will now become... the UPDATE! Hurrah!