h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I sure hope this Dazinhu guy knows more about Enumah Elish than he does about the Bible!

Start with this: "The parallels between the Old Testament and the Enûma elish are numerous; but where the Bible has been doctored to match the needs of the Church, the older documents suffered no such blatant censorship and are concerned with telling a story."

Can someone explain that in regular English? Just WHEN was the Bible doctored? By WHOM? Blatant to WHOM? With what evidence? For what reason? And how did they sneak it past the professional memorizers, the scribes, the various scrupulously maintained copies of the Torah in the Ark of the Covenant, the Temple, and the tents of the chiefs of each of the twelve tribes?

MY copy of Genesis 5:2-3 does NOT say "that when God created man he called them Adam; then took one and called her Eve." Someone seems to have confused the personal name Adam with the word adam, which means Mankind (or Humankind, as we say today). You can tell the difference because one gets a singular verb and one gets a plural verb.

And this -- "Adam - Adapa - is therefore the first of the line that, we are led to believe, might eventually encompass King Solomon, Jesus and his children, and the Merovingians."

And Hitler, Nebuchadnezzar and the Queen of Sheba. And you and me. The Bible makes it pretty clear that ALL humanity derives from a common pair of ancestors. Jesus AND HIS CHILDREN? Give me a break. And some facts.

Off the top of my head, I am not sure which words have been mis-translated into Greek, nor what "Hebrew concepts" have suffered. Wouldn't mind finding out, either.

But I would pay money to find out how anybody knows that the Greeks were "more colorful and joyous" than the ancient Hebrews? Where the hell does THAT come from? And how would you prove it?

Sheesh.