A Conversation for A Guide to Restaurant Service

Relative time-dilation in restaurants

Post 1


The time taken to take your order and deliver your meal is inversely proportionate (ie much greater than) than the time they allow you to eat and digest your courses before you get the hell out of our restaurant, we need the table.

Relative time-dilation in restaurants

Post 2


And don't forget: when in immediate need of food, light up a cigarette (whether or not you smoke) and everything you ordered will suddenly appear. smiley - winkeye

Relative time-dilation in restaurants

Post 3

Administrator-General (5+0+9)*3+0

The time for food to be ordered, served and consumed in restaurants is also logarithmically proportional to the number of people in the dinner party. Typical values are:

1 person = 30 minutes
2 people = 45 minutes
4 people = 60 minutes
8 people = 75 minutes

and so on.

Relative time-dilation in restaurants

Post 4


Unless everyone orders salads first, of course, in which case the main courses should be ready 25 minutes BEFORE the salads. smiley - winkeye

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