h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mac Brazel finds ufo in field, puts it in barn, decides to wait till he is going into town anyway to report it,
Casually mentions it to sherriff,
Sherriff casually mentions it to army,
Jesse Marcel goes to investigate a few days later, finds pieces of UFO, takes home to show his kids,
Next day shows it to firemen, shopkeepers, all his friends in town,
Returns to base, asks for rest of UFO to be collected,
Announces to world, "we got ourselves an alien"
Looks at picture of Balloon,
Does the toilet,
Announces "we got ourselves a weather balloon".
30 years later sells "we got ourselves an alien" to anybody with a chequebook.

If you read some books on the incident this is what actually happened.

It was a a Guvimint cover up I tell ya. Nothing to do with Aliens though. Project Mogul was a top secret high altitude balloon project to spy on the USSR. Spy satalites came in and made it obsolete before they got it to work well enough to deploy. You can read about it here.

http://www.csicop.org/si/9507/roswell.html

Of course though if was was going to travel into interstellar space I would build my craft out balsa wood, tin foil, tape and balloon rubber.

Well it's light see you don't need as much fuel to lift it. The tin foil is to insulate the kerosene from the rubber and balsa wood which adds strength. The tape of course is used in the normal manner to hold the rest of the stuff together. I make the balsa into strong triangular modules then assemble them into sheets. stretch balloon rubber on both sides then tape tin foil on both outsides. Aluminium foil actually. Tin is no good. But that's what they used to call it. Then ya just fill it full of kero, tape a filthy great huge rocket engine on the bottom and light her up. I plan to get my sister to do the first test flight as I pedal my bike rapidly away. All I need is the money to buy the kero and a rocket motor. Mail me at [email protected] if you wish to donate. I've got seven bucks so far. But I know where to get a good engine for nothing. (goverment grant I arranged over the internet). But I have to pay for the kero. I have been told that seven bucks worth isn't enough to start it running. So dig deep and help me out. Actually my sister isn't much of a test pilot. So anyone that want's fly just say so and the wannbe that donates the most gets the job. Terrorists may apply. Politicians even lawyers. No drama, anyone.

Would I lie about a serious thing like that?

Ye of little trust can google me, I'm a serious guy.

Stuart (call me Stew) de Baker Hawke