h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, wait.... since Christ worshiped Yawe, Jehova or whatever,
doesn't HE, by the christian edicts, go to hell? Wuh-oh.
I'm confused...

Don't mistake me for a theist (and this is probably the wrong place to find a fight with one), but I do know their argument for hell-bound Jews. They think that belief in Jesus is necessary to go to heaven. The Jews don't believe he was anything but a normal preacher.

As for Jesus... he probably believed in himself.

Of course, the Jews believe the Christians are going to hell, because they don't follow the laws of Moses. Xtians claim that Jesus gave them new laws. I've never seen any evidence in the Bible to support that, and lots of evidence to contradict it.

Yes, but God supposedly have created MAN. Not gorilla, monkey, primitive primate. MAN. Totally evolved. Therefore, do any Christans want to counter argue?

Yeah. How can anyone still believe in Creation if evolution is so clearly desplayed right there?

C'mon, all you people who believe differently! Say so!

Maybe christ had moments of low self-esteem when he didn't believe in himself. And his father/son relationship must have been pretty bad.

Three points:
First: It's pretty clear from the bible that the Christian God is a bad designer. I mean, he plunks Adam and Eve down in "paradise", says "hey guys, go have fun. Eat, drink, be without shame, whatever; oh, but don't eat this fruit right here, THIS ONE! DON'T EAT IT! Why? 'Cause I said so. Don't argue with me, I'm God." Obviously, they eat the fruit. God immediately hops out from behind a bush and goes "oh my self, what have you guys done!" He should have just zapped the tree in the first place, avoiding the whole problem.
Another thing: most religions believe various odd and often mutually contradictive things. Christians believe that their God is three people in one, one of whom died by being nailed to a tree 2000 years ago. Buddhists, as I understand Buddhism, believe that their God is so great that he doesn't have to exist. If a single God wanted us all to believe in him, he should have left us a ubiquitous and lasting reminder of himself. A giant cross orbiting the Earth, the 10 commandments inscribed on the moon in letters readable here, a big buddha statue on mars, something like that. The bible suggests that God spoke to tribal patriarchs and religious leaders at least every second Friday, but it seems he's been silent for the last 2500 years, except for talking to fanatics and raving nutters. If one God wanted to make his existence completely irrefutable, it'd be pretty easy for him, or he'd probably bloody well like to know why not. A voice booming "I AM THAT I AM" would do the trick nicely. Maybe he could just e-mail us all that he's still here.
Last point: why does everyone just assume that Jesus was white? He was black! For some reason, He's always depicted as white, blond-haired and blue-eyed in religious paintings (da Vinci's Last Supper, for example). In a country of relatively dark-skinned people, could Jesus have been the only white anglo-saxon? As Chris Rock said in Dogma, "a black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Lord and Saviour."
I'm not sure that I'm qualified to make sweeping statements about the fallacies of organized religion, as I don't subscribe to any specific religious dogma, but as an agnostic (I don't believe in God, but I believe in the possibility of a God) and a cynic, I like poking fun at hypocrisy in others.

Amen.

Jimmy.

That doesn't even matter, slim-jim. If jesus, even as a white anglo-saxon lived in jerusalem, which is a pretty hot place, he'd either burn like the dickens or get tanned darker'n road tar.
Not only that, I find it quite funny that christians presume to, "Translate" their bible. What? Are they saying, "Lets change the words of these people that supposedly had god speak through them to mean what we think they mean." I mean, read a bible, then read the un-translated King James bible. They're completely different! I mean, they (the translators) not only destroy the poetic merit of the writings, they often have them mean completely different things. Oh well.

That doesn't even matter, slim-jim. If jesus, even as a white anglo-saxon lived in jerusalem, which is a pretty hot place, he'd either burn like the dickens or get tanned darker'n road tar.
Not only that, I find it quite funny that christians presume to, "Translate" their bible. What? Are they saying, "Lets change the words of these people that supposedly had god speak through them to mean what we think they mean." I mean, read a bible, then read the un-translated King James bible. They're completely different! I mean, they (the translators) not only destroy the poetic merit of the writings, they often have them mean completely different things. Oh well.

And did you know that long-ago popes used to diddle little boys because it was neither considered wrong, or sex? so they could remain chaste and still abuse children.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.


That's about it for this God Fellow.

And I thought I was plagiarizing clever bits from the Guide... No more mooching off Oolon Colluphid, Clarke!

Indignant Cynic Jimmy.

I have nothing to say to that other than, "There doesn't seem to be any christian people responding to oiur posts. So lets just give up.

I think it's funny how recruiters, or "missionaries" use arguments such as how long ago the bible was made because muslim, hindu and many other beliefs are FAR older. Also, the bible is being continuously revised and changed. Make up your minds. Another thing, those beliefs I mentioned earlier have many more members. I do not believe in these or any other religion, but Christians or members of religions like it, seem to always be talking about how their's is unquestionably the true belief.

It is said by those who believe in God, that he loves all his creations an he made us etc. also, in this period in time, it was common to have multiple marriages and such. This would e considered a sin, especially the sexual relatipons between husband and several wives, that would be a BIG sin. However, that's the way things went, so ultimately, He, by making these things sins, wished the destruction f the human race.

Actually, "back then" polygamy wasn't around everywhere, as you seemed to insinuate with your, "wished death on the entire human race." bit. And actually, polygamy still happens today.

The first Muslim lived in the 7th century CE...

Damn, you beat me to it. I was going to comment on that yesterday, but logged off before I had the chance. Mohammed was born in the '600's, quite a while after Jesus.

Jimmy.

Shoot! I knew that! why didn't I post that with my polygamy bit? Oh well.

Did anyone see that episode in the first series of Red Dwarf about the Cat religion.
Pure genuis.

PS. Read "Not the end of the world" by Chris Brookmyre. You may find it quite enlightening, or at least hysterically funny. It's about religious fundamentalist terrorists and it's a very cutting satire on Christianity. esp the Happy Clapper crowd that seem so sweet and harmless till the find the recipe for nitroglycerine.

Amen.

Amen is right. Down with the evil and tyrannical Jesus!

I wonder if I'll go to hell for that...?