Are we, as a country, losing our manners?

I began thinking about this when, late on Friday night, I received a call on my mobile. I did not recognise the voice.

'Hi mate. Can you call me back at home?'

'Sorry, who is this?'

I checked the number. It was not in my mobile's phonebook, so only the raw number was displayed, but it was a Manchester number. I don't know anyone in Manchester.

'Is this 07xxx x2xxxx?'

'No, this is 07xxx x5xxxx. I think you have the wrong number.'

'Oh, you're joking....'

<CLICK>

Now normally wrong numbers are rare, but even still is it too much to expect a 'sorry'? The caller's attitude conveyed the impression that it was somehow my fault that he had called the wrong number¹.

This loss of manners is by no means a recent occurence, but it seems to be getting worse. I couldn't help but think, is technology making us rude²?

Think about it. The very word 'hello' didn't exist until the telephone became a household item. It took too long to say 'Good morning' and since the cost of the call was extortionate, everyone wanted to conclude each call as quickly as possible.

As new technology has integrated itself into our lives, we have come to the conclusion that we have less time and are now becoming very bad mannered.

What's With That?

Personally I blame dog foulers. Here's my theory:

1. Dogs foul the street
2. Owners don't bother to clean it up
3. People get fed up walking throught dog dirt
4. People spend more time looking down at the ground (to avoid the dog dirt)
5. Pedestrians don't look each other in the eye anymore
6. And as any psychologist will tell you, if someone avoids eye contact with you, your subconscious automatically distrusts them
7. This leads to bad manners. (Why be nice to someone you believe will stab you in the back, metaphorically, at the first opportunity?)

But why are people so rude in general?

Take road rage. It has become a well known phenomenon in recent years. People get infuriated while driving. There are many reasons and explanations for this.

First, if you bump someone in the street, your body language can say sorry without you having the say anything. In a car, you cannot.

Secondly, in a fast hectic lifestyle, anything that slows you down makes you irritated.

But all this stress is not good for you. Doctors already know about many stress related illnesses. I myself suffered from stress related back pain, and believe me, don't believe what some psychiatrists tell you, the pain was definately not in my head.

So what's the answer? Zen detachment? Metitation? Reflexology? The answer, surprising, is 'yes'.

As strange as it sounds, people who meditate on a regular basis are happier. Brain scans of Buddists monks, who regulary meditate, found that their hypothamalus (which regulates mood) was significantly larger than normal, making them happier and more content.

So, as technology integrates itself more and more into our daily lives, we may find ourselves reverting to more old fashioned ways of relaxation.

Useful Stuff

• The Transcendental Meditation Movement

• Why Do Buddhists Meditate?

• The Temple of Thingswithclocksinthatdontneedthem

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26.02.04 Front Page

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