h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who is allowed to wear a kilt ? anybody ? scots only or is it a free for all attire?

Scots only, but on the payment of a bottle of whisky I'm sure.......

Note tha any gentleman, who is in GOOD { : ) } keeping of a good scots lass,
may also were the kilt, providing he does so in ALL aspects of propper scottish
tradition.. The lass will be more than happy to explain it all to you and will
probally wear one as well, as they are most hany garments to wear to a romantic
picnic in the countryside.

Note tha any gentleman, who is in GOOD { : ) } keeping of a good scots lass,
may also were the kilt, providing he does so in ALL aspects of propper scottish
tradition.. The lass will be more than happy to explain it all to you and will
probally wear one as well, as they are most handy garments to wear to a romantic
picnic in the countryside.

For those not lucky enough to claim the tartan, I can recommend a really good bright gingam cloth that goes with absolutely everything. The advantage of this cloth is that it is not nearly so abrasive as that nasty checky wool stuff.
For myself, I love to see a man in a dress, tartan or not.. But my dear ! not wooly socks ! lets return to the wartime silk stocking, a fitting hose to accessorise with a gold lame sporron.

Any man who can pee with one on whilst drunk (without mishap) should be given an honorary Scottish title to
wear one I reckon.

Of course you all know that it is law for a policeman to tie a kilties' shoes so he doesn't have to
bend down and get a bad draft up his kilt. Inspection for wearing no calvin kleins under the kilt
is also done in the Scottish regiments by using a mirror attached to a long pole.

have a wee peek at my daftness on a topic close to my heart: the scottish sweety
(search for Granny Sookers in the forums)

(__)*(__) bare bums roam free...

Ah, alas no, you have been watching too much "Carry on up the Khyber" I think.

there is a dark side to everything my friend... the carry on films are a product of the dark side whereas barebums are not.
there is an old tale about kilts which tells how they originated. the kilt is a blanket in its truest form and was really a broadcloth meassuring about 2 by eight metres.
a clansman would wrap the kilt around himself and drape the rest over his shoulder. at night the kilt would be wrapped around for warmth. personal experience of walking the glens
has taught me that kilts and MIDGIES (scottish form of the mosquito) do not mix.

the sting of a midgie in a sensitive part of the body can be extremely painful.

bare bum (__)*(__)....