h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What happened to the "crackling orange flame"? I don't spend hours (well, minutes) labouring like a thing possessed over my little lyrical gems for them them to be tossed aside like... like... like... erm, cigarette buts!

I'm not too keen on the food chain reference either, but that would be stretching "mild indignance" too far towards "self important git". Ho hum.

Sorry Si, as a pretty heavy smoker there's nothing I enjoy more than tossing away cigarette butts. But be that as it may. 'Crackling orange flame' makes a lot more sense than 'crackling orange flower' which is what you actually wrote in the original entry. I'll ask TPTWVH to put the '...flame' bit in before the entry goes up on the front page.

FYI I had to add quite a bit to the article to justify it as an 'Approved Guide Entry' as in it's original form it was funny and well written but needed a bit more info in there. It took much longer to rewrite it as 'The Discovery Of...' and add info on Prometheus, excise verboten references to the Encyclopedia Galactica and suchlike, than it would to just go 'Not enough real information about fire' and stick it in the bin. But I thought it was well written so I stuck with it.

I know it's tough when someone changes your carefully chosen words, but this is a guide for everyone after all and no-one casts the entries in here in stone. It's a kind of future proofing. Should some anthropologist researcher write a groovy article about how early man used fire and come up with a load of interesting facts about it, then this entry will no doubt be merged with their's and so on with the next writer. Funny is good. I love funny. But the idea of this Guide is to be a knowledge repository. A pretty neat-o, hip and happening kind of library which could actually inform and entertain, help save your life or avoid a dull day out.

Your article was only one of three out of a batch of ten I was sent that made the grade and which I thought was worth persevering with. If I'd stuck it in unchanged in its original form I seriously doubt it would have been accepted with the new subeditor guidelines we now have to work with.

I hope all that made sense and you didn't seem *that* offended, but I didn't want to leave you feeling bummed out about succeeding in getting something good accepted as an 'Official' Entry

btw I know the article took part in Vegiman's Critique Fun Run so I'm hoping that process gets a credit somewhere too.

All the best - TWF

Okay, I give up....what exactly did I contribute to this article?

Methinks I have earned an undeserved researcher credit here. While this is a fine article to have my name associated with, my fame is spreading quite well without performing literary larceny. I will not stoop to such until it becomes completely necessary.

Hi Gargleblaster, let try and explain the reason for this...

The footnote in the 'Approved Guide Entry' was derived from a post you made to the article 'Fire' when it was going through one of Vegiman's Critique Fun Runs
The forum is at http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?thread=14387&forum=15603
In deference to the fact the article had been through a Fun Run, I thought it was good manners to check all the forums reviewing the article and I liked your off-hand comment so I used it.
I gave you a credit because I'm an honest kind of guy

The way that the Guide works at the moment, even a tiny contribution to an entry (if acknowledged) will get a full blown 'Researcher' credit. There is no 'Main Researcher' / 'Minor Contribution' split available to mark entries up with at the moment which may or may not be something that changes. I will bring it up with the PTWVH at an opportune moment. So, although Si was responsible for the bulk of the article, your name goes up in lights too.

If you really really don't like it, I can ask that your reference and credit are removed. It would be a shame I think, but it can be done if it really troubles you.

- TWF

I've just used the word really too many times. I really shouldn't have done that. It gives really the wrong impression. As a sub-editor my use of language should be really flawless. Really, it should.
That's really all I've got to say. Yes, really.

Si,
I just realised who you are so I feel a bit daft posting that response. I imagine you probably do know what sub-eds are looking for, what with you actually being one and all
I haven't been checking names of submitters but I think I will from now on.

Still at least no-one can accuse me of favouritism.

*TWF Walks off battering self over head with a mouldy cod*

- TWF

Well, truth to tell, this isn't the first time I've received more credit than I deserve. An offhand comment about Portland, Oregon yielded me a researcher credit on the article with the same name. I guess I've been going about this thing the wrong way. If I just made random comments on everyone else's articles, I could garner more credits than I could writing my own work.

What has Newcastle got to do with anything?

Keep your damn coals and use them to keep yourself warm.

ps I do not come from Newcastle.

Sorry, it's a bit of British idiom. Newcastle-Upon-Tyne used to have a lot of collieries and produced a lot of coal, so "taking coals to Newcastle" means, in this case, telling someone about the hard decisions that a sub-editor like myself has to make when the someone I'm telling is also a sub-editor.
Other (more travelled) versions could be:
- "like bringing a Grunge band to Seattle", or
- "like taking a Guinness to Dublin", or
- "like taking some dry boring grey rock to The Moon".

-TWF

Or even ....

Selling Ice cubes to eskimos.
selling sand to arabs.

to name but 2.

what about the old "bringing owls to athens"?

I see a topic drift coming up... Topic Police!

I don't want to be diverted just yet.

What about some new ones?
Like...

'taking a stolen tv to a liverpudlian'

...without being too sterotypical.

Taking beer down the pub?

Taking an appalling song to the Eurovision Song Contest.
Taking the Conservative Party manifesto to Tony Blair.
Taking rain to Manchester.