h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Devon, England, UK - A6021505
Author: Skankyrich [riggwelted] - U931109

This is intended as an update to the existing entry, A203671

This version has been in EGWW for a week and only had one response, so I'd be glad of any suggestions for improvement.

There's an extra full-stop after footnote 1.

Do people leave Devon? The heartland of the USA is full of dying towns that only have very young or very old people because opportunity is elsewhere. You may want to mention something like this, to carry some of the flavor of the original entry over into your new one.

The Famous Five aren't famous enough, because I don't know who you are talking about.

importnat->important

There are lots and lots of already Edited Entries that show up when you search for Devon, and there's another called Devon's Towns and Countryside. While the original Edited Entry seems as if it could use some help, maybe not much needs to be done, as it seems to have been 'worked around' with these other entries. Perhaps you could write this entry in such a way that it links all of these together?

This is intended to be the 'gateway' entry as suggested in the Counties project. The 'Towns and Countryside' entry was written by the same group as produced this, but was hived off as it made the whole entry cumbersome. This entry is intended to portray the key facts about the county, each section ultimately sprouting more detailed entries about each area; the other entries are already 'linked in', either to the text or as referenced entries.


'...maybe not much needs to be done...'

Every time I link to A203671, I feel pretty offended, and this should redress the balance. The entry in question began the whole Challenge h2g2 Counties project because of its inadequecies, so clearly much had to be done. Most words to describe how we feel about the entry that currently describes our county would not pass the profanity filter.


If, however, the concensus is that the current entry on Devon is more suitable, I will gladly withdraw our version.

I've now read the original entry A203671 - and although it may have been sufficient when it was published ( like the entry on sauerkraut-same year, as short), I prefer the updated version, it gives me much more information and leaves me with the feeling that I have missed out on something because I've never been to Devon.

Thanks for that, Bel

By the way, I do know this entry needs a lot of linking, which i will get to - preferably when I've had a few more comments as to whether or not this is ok.

Hoe many people are subscribed to the update forum then ? I must admit I've never been here before

Quite a few are, but things tend to happen nice and slowly

Hi, Skankyrich!

I think this is a vast improvement on the old Edited Entry. The one problem I see with it at the moment is that the only link to the Devon's Towns and Countryside (which really is the other half of this entry) is a very low-key link towards the end on the words 'towns and villages'. The context of that link seemed to say that the link was just to the Dartmoor fringe towns. I think the other entry needs to be featured much more prominently either at the beginning or the very end of this entry, with something like 'The entry Devon's Towns and Countryside deals with the county in more detail, area by area.'

Some smaller points:
"John Cleese made Devon's resort hotels infamous." This may be perfectly obvious to 95% of readers, but the other 5% might need some context: "John Cleese made Devon's resort hotels infamous in the classic TV series 'Fawlty Towers'."

"There is evidence that there a battle between the Romans and the Dumnonii," "...there was a battle..."

"When the Normans conquered Britain, they compliely the Doomsday Book," "...compiled..."

"...and they began to reign in the local populace." "...rein..."

"The therapeutic qualities of taking the water proved extremely popular with Victorians,"
I always associated the phrase 'taking the water' with drinking spa water in towns like Bath. Are you sure that the Victorians used it for sea bathing?

"For classic literature, look elsewhere;"
I think it's worth specifically mentioning both The Hound of the Baskervilles and Lorna Doone as popular classics set in Devon. (My own favourite Devon book is Kipling's Stalky and Co. but I think that's too obscure nowadays for a general article!) You could then transfer the Baskervilles footnote to the specific reference.

"...there are few great composers from this part of the world;" Seriously, are there any?

"Morocyclists will be delighted..." "Motorcyclists..."

Anyway, good work on the update! I think it dovetails nicely with the excellent Devon's Towns and Countryside entry, which just needs to be referenced more prominently.


Azara

Thank you very much, Azara, I've dealt with all those. Thatnks for taking the time to read and comment

I've mentioned Devon's famous composers in the 'Music' section already

General:

Good!

Nitpicking:

Add a link to A701894 Fawlty Towers.

a generally backwards view of life -- do you mean backwards, a topsy-turvy view, or backward, an old-fashioned out-of-date view?

H2g2's previous entry -- it should be h2g2 rather than H2g2, but Entry needs a capital letter. Both of these are h2g2 standards which have nothing to do with proper punctuation.

Similarly, "An edited guide entry" should be "An Edited Guide Entry".

a very seperate --> a very separate

805AD --> 805 AD

they compliled --> they compiled

the Doomsday Book --> the Domesday Book

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle began to attract crowds -- add comma after Doyle

seperate entry --> separate Entry

Though productivity in Devon is growing, the Office of National Statistics estimated in April 2005 that Gross Domestic Product per head is £9,636 in Devon -- there are too many "in Devons" in that.

Thank you very much, Gnomon - I've changed all those now

Oops, I gave you the wrong link for Fawlty Towers. It should be A751745.

My fastidious checking of things before I change them fails once more

Changed.

Why do you give two different estimates for the population? 2000 and 2004. Why not just use the later figure, with the 2000 figure for the size of the county (presumably it has not changed).

Good point - I used both because the older figures had interesting conclusions about population density, but they'd be equally valid with a population increase of 3,000 people in 1,100,000, wouldn't they? So I've amalgamed the two, and also moved the 'Though productivity in the county is growing...' paragraph up to follow it, where it fits better.

Thanks again - what do you think now?

I think I'm in the mood for a Devonshire

Great Update, makes me want to head darn sowf for me hols.

Well, you should do - there's always a spare room going

Are we ready yet? This is looking great!

Ready when you are, Jimster

Then consider this officially updated - great work, Rich!