h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For any Hitch Hiker coming to Earth, your point of debarkation in 1 out of 3 instances is Sedona, Arizona, because its easy to blend in, they'll have your religion, and a local bearded prophet can drive you in a four wheel drive to any of a couple of teleports (vortexes) that can reportedly zap you to Sirius, Alcyone in the Pleiades, and also to Las Vegas, Nevada.

The Sedona setting is awe inspiring; It is surrounded by a red rock canyon carved out of the earth by a lot more water than what currently streams through this semi-arid land. When the sun has set a beautiful view of the Galaxy (or deep space depending on the time of day and year) stretches out overhead, and in spring, summer and autumn you can relax outside in the silky embrace of a warm nightly breeze. Night is definately the best time to feel the strange but benefical and soothing energy of the place. People are very weird but harmless and friendly, serving excellent food on the whole, lodgings go from inexpensive but poor at the western side of town to hideously expensive and relatively luxurious at the center.

Don't buy crystals and rocks in the city unless you bring enough money and insist on buying your rocks and crystals in Sedona. In other towns and cities in Arizona you can pick them up for less, in some areas you can pick them off the ground and in a Geology museum in Phoenix Arizona where they don't use crystals for connecting your spirit to the Internet you can buy prime species for a few bucks.

If you have strong hands and a strong stomach, have a local bearded Jesus drive you around in a four wheel drive jeep to one of the natural teleport stations in the area. The local slang for these stations is "vortex" but if you insist you need to be teleported to Sirius they will be very understanding, accomodative and drive you to the appropriate gateway. You need strong hands to hold tightly onto the jeep, and a strong stomach because in some areas the ride can be bumpy. If you see any Native Indians in the vortex area you might want to ask them whether it is really aligned with your destination, and not with Las Vegas.

If you enjoy dangerous driving, you will definately enjoy taking route 89 up to Flagstaff - Do not take highway 17 because it isn't half as exciting. Route 89 isn't only thrilling, it is very beautiful too and you will turn green with envy when you see those homes just north of Sedona along the stream that flows there in a gorgeous glade. For real fun and dangerous driving on Planet Earth however, the mountains where France and Italy meet are definately a place where you will try and fail to emulate the locals.


Other notes of interest in Northern Arizona:

If you visit the "petrified forest" some120 miles east of Flagstaff, don't pick up any petrified wood, you might get arrested by the wardens, and the locals sell them de-petrified in a shop at the south entrance for much less.

The Grand Canyon is a great place to see if you have never seen a large gorge. You can even hitch a ride on a plane or helicopter and see the most advertised gorge on the planet. Also there are lodgings outside of the National Park area that are a delight to stay in and make great starting and ending points for hiking the area. But if you really want to see a Grand Canyon you need to have your own spaceship and go to Mars.

And do go to Hopi county and their town "Second Mesa". There are a very few civilized places on Earth, but Hopi county is very civilized and its people will actually give you the feeling you are being appreciated and not yet another bipedal genetic construction. This reporter fondly remembers his stay in Second Mesa and remembers the Hopi people as some of the most wonderful people you can ever meet.