Taco Bell is a chain of franchise fast food restaurants located across North America, specializing in a cuisine known as 'Tex-Mex,' which translates into anything spicy and/or in a tortilla.

Strangely enough, Taco Bell food is quite palatable and filling, despite the fact that nearly every item on the menu is composed of the same basic foodstuffs: puréed meat, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a 'sour cream product,' encased, in one way or another, in a flour tortilla. Price of food is generally low, under $12 for a full two-person meal.

The words 'Taco Bell' must be spoken quickly and emphatically, as if they were one word. This is not to make you sound more Spanish, instead its purpose is to make you sound as if you are desperate for food.

The advantages of choosing to eat at Taco Bell include:

• Free, unlimited soft drink refills. Must be taken advantage of, since Taco Bell stocks every soft drink known to mankind, and iced tea as well.

• Service is very fast. Since most main courses are prepared from the same basic foodstuff, odds are your meal will be ready in less than three minutes.

• It's a healthy (?!?) alternative to various hamburger vendors.

• The Fries Supreme. Picture french fries smothered with ground beef, cheese, sour cream, and green onions. A sight to behold, and quite tasty, despite how it looks¹.

The mascot for Taco Bell is Dinky, a Chihuahua which speaks English with a Mexican accent, but this is bound to change once ad execs realise that the dog begs to be kicked across a room.