h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For those who haven't read him, a sampling of his wry wit, drawn from 'Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar' and 'Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar' (although the 'New' lable, being over a century old, is showing signs of wear):

"The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money."

"When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone on to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life."

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

"There is a Moral Sense and there is an Immoral Sense. History shows us that the Moral Sense enables us to perceive morality and how to avoid it, and that the Immoral Sense enables us to perceive immorality and how to enjoy it."

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

"To succeed in other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do."

"The old saw says,'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Right. Still, when there is much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it."

My all time favourite Mark Twain quote jas got to be:- "Golf:A good walk spoilt."

My favourites are;

"Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most".

"I never let my schooling get in the way of my education".