h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Heh, I didn't think that anyone would be brave enough to talk about this one...

I'm going to speak frankly and on a personal level...When I was a teenager I loved exploring my sexuality with my boyfriend...we did IT a lot! As I matured and moved on from steady boyfriends to casual 'one night stands', I started to realize this was going nowhere and I felt quite shallow as a person, so I married. After three vaginally successful births and years of no interest in anything sexual I seem to have regained a new curiosity and drive as I approach my 40's. I'm having great fun scaring the wits out of my husband...it's like a new sport!

This new curiosity and drive is actually a genetic condition of womanhood who, apparently, do not reach their sexual peak until the ages of 30-40. This is particularly frustrating for us guys, who peak around 19-21, and is probably the reason why most teenage vandals appear to be male.

Of course, the upshot of this, is that many teenage guys can actually experience the delights of sleeping with older women, as those in the same age group do not have the same drive. In addition, most older women have a valid excuse for having a 'toy boy'. The downside for women is that by the time you peak, most guys your age tend to fantasize about your younger sister, however, your younger sister will usually not be so hot for the older guy. This leads to a terminal state of frustration for most of us poor guys, which - I think - most women should go out of their way to alleviate.

Alternatively, maybe we should copy the canine method, and have a dedicated 'season' where all-comers are welcome. Canine method, brings me on to doggy style, a natural position in the animal kingdom and one favoured by most guys as we can get to watch Match Of The Day at the same time as having something to hold on to

Better stop, i'm moving into the realms of *

I remember reading something like that in that book "New Passages" which talks about lifecycles and how we're all getting around to things later than our earlier generations might have.
As for later participation in things we thought wore off by then, its rather nice to hear that they get a resurgence. Just try not to devour the poor fellow alive, he's probably not expecting it.

Being eaten alive when not expecting it could be exactly the thing to relieve the frustration!

Temporarily...

Then comes the even more frustrating experience of trying to get her to do it again.

By the time you reach 73 it doesn't bother you any more fellas - make the most of it while you can

I think when you reach the age of 73 it will matter the most.

Yeah. But where do you find the young woman who agrees?

I'm one of those poor females whose looking forward to three years time when I can get this viagra (is that how you spell it?) stuff! I've gone through my whole life wondering what everyone else is going on about and waiting for "the big bang" (literally!). I know everything works, as I've had two kids and have come to the conclusion that this "orgasm" thing is a myth put up by men to encourage women to have sex.....(Could this be yet another conspiracy theory?)

Oh... sure... it's THE conspiracy.

When you're 73 (why 73????) you might start to wonder what you actually did with your sex life and get depressed when you realise what exactly you didn't do. That's what I meant even when I don't have the experience of being 73. It is enough with thinking about what you did not do when you're 23!

I don't know if you're from Blighty, but recently (and much to the chagrin of some of the more stiff-upper-lipped around here) they had a 'documentary' on the female orgasm.

Was quite a learning experience I'm sure, for any chap and I think that its possible that there were a few surprises for the ladies too.

It's main problem was the sex expert was a horrible old American woman who made you want to cringe a pretty much everything she said.
Hmm. Maybe my upper lip is stiffening...

Anyway she was stating things like 'not many women can orgasm from straight sex' and "other encouragement" is required usually. Those who can can thank their lucky stars.'
Another gem was them interviewing men in pubs (of course, commonly drunk) and finding out how amazingly ignorant we can be of the whole thing, and still manage to swing a little charm.

Maybe it's all just not very British...

Maybe we(humans in peak)are like canines, we just experience a TIME variance. I have thought of the 'toyboy' as means to relieve my prowess, but knowing I have to wake up to myself everyday was a deterrent to say the least! I sometimes wonder if this is purely a state of mind....for if I was to exist without a body and be just a head, would my brain still react in the same way and to produce hormones that would cause me to roll around begging and biting just for some relief?!

Poor Gwennie, my heart goes out to you. You've missed the greatest thing life has to offer. Don't stop looking.

I'm right there with you, sister! I spent 6 years married to a Youth pastor of an Assembly of God church. He seemed to think the missionary position was exotic!!! Now, sans pastor boy, and reaching my forties as well, I find myself very sexually aggressive. But being sexually aggressive is not a bad thing. Too many people in this world have no concept of their own sexuality. They trudge through their lifes being only slightly fulfilled in their sex life, never knowing the pure joy you can receive that comes with being open and honest with yourself and your body. Too bad most of us only discover this late in life!

Thanks for sharing that Sister! In my discoveries of 'self', I've uncovered my own anima and animus, or archetype of the male and female personalities that exist within all of us. Through this minor enlightenment, I've been projecting my male on to my mate so therefore I am happy to be standing in a psychological truth of what I am becoming...conscious. The danger in a relationship is the collective spiritual conflicting with the collective biological. I hope my Hubby can hang in there because I think it can be a glorious world of wonders!

Well, you're all a bunch of happy chappies and I'm envious! (Goes of to corner and sticks finger in ear and sucks thumb!)

I'm sure if you think about it long enough, you will come up with a few of your own 2 minutes or so of bliss that doesn't require another person. I'm just in phase 487 of my personal blooming process...I'm not even sure if I'm a flower yet!

Will this require "fertilizer"? No! Not that stuff - I mean something like "Baby Bio" or 'orses poop!

Others seem to fair quite well with a little or a lot of 'bull shite', in the mean time...I'm keeping my hip waders on and shovel handy, just in case!

I'm starting to feel like a mushroom now (kept in the dark and covered in sh--)! I think I'll just go and have a quiet lie down somewhere......