Ack! I'm still not done but this is a tolerable start...

What inspired this page was Jimi X asking the Sub-editors our feelings about film reviews as Approved Guide Entries.

Before I begin, there are exceptions to every rule. In fact, any rules in h2g2 should be seen as guidelines. Actually, these movie review guidelines are at present just my opinion, so don't throw rocks before I have a chance to duck. If all the Sub-editors agree with me, great. This page will no doubt be under great revisement and renovation until we all come to some consensus.

I can readily annouce we ALREADY HAVE movie reviews in the approved list: Star Wars and Blade for example.

So the question as to whether or not film reviews should be approved guide entries is moot. They already are. The question then should be which movies are accepted, and what kind of reviews should be accepted.

Kinds of Movies to Accept

These are the kinds of movies I think, IMNSHO, should be accepted.

1. All-Time Greats: those that help define a generation or speak of the Human Condition in ways that the average movie just doesn't do like (Hitchock's original) Psycho, Citizen Kane, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Schindler's List, and Easy Rider. Of course Star Wars applies here.

2. Rocking Roller Coasters: those that just really rock and are guaranteed 90 minutes of sheer thrown clear from your cinema seat suspense, action, comedy, terror, etc. The critics may have hated them but screw the critics. Blade would fall in that category, but just barely. The Matrix, the first Smokey and the Bandit, Ladyhawke, and (hehe) Die Hard would also apply here.

3. Little Knowns: One of h2g2's many purposes is for people to share info not easily obtained anywhere else. Many movies slip through the cracks. For every one that gets major media blitzes and publicity hype, there are scores of equally deserving pieces which the world never hears about. Those should be reviewed here perhaps more seriously than any other. Examples that come to my mind are Slacker, Enemy Mine, Secrets and Lies, and pretty much anything you'd see on the Independent Film cable Channel.

I've already written a user page about movies in general and I'm trying to put all this crap together in there. The (admittedly unofficial) Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Movies gives a run down of stuff I've already found in h2g2.com about movies, and I hope to update it from time to time.

Kinds of Movies not to Accept

Personally I LOVED the movie Rush Hour with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. Perhaps it can be argued that it fits in the Rocking Roller Coaster category, but it's definitely not one of the Greatest Movies of all time, and it had its media blitz day in the sun. I mean we can't cover every single movie in the world. H2G2.com simply has more important things to do.

We're not a movie review house. There are countless other places on the Net that do that better already, like Rotten-Tomatoes.com and Aint-It-Cool-News.com. However, h2g2.com is unique in that it allows the average Joe, as Field Researcher to put on the cap of a film critic. So any movie review that is accepted should be unique in that regard. It should ideally be a movie review you can't find anywhere else. It shouldn't just be a rehash of things said by The Chicago Sun Times' Roger Ebert or the Internet's own Alex Fung.

Any movie that is a flash in the pan shouldn't be accepted. I'm tempted to put a date here. I think movies that are the big thing right now should not be considered until at least a year has gone by. Predominantly we should concentrate on classics like Annie Hall, Network, Casablanca, and Bridge Over the River Kwai. Movies that withstand the test of time and are still a marvel to watch.

I did several pages about The Blair Witch Project for example, but please note: I did NOT submit them for approval. They are just user pages, and I think they should stay that way. I loved that movie, but I agree that it's not a high class piece of cinema. I think it has caused a ripple effect in Hollywood and will affect how horror movies are made and percieved for many years to come, but history will be the deciding factor as to whether or not the movie itself will withstand the test of time.

Reviews to AND not to Accept

Now the following statement may be seen as an oxymoron. Come to think of it, some may percieve this entire concept of using h2g2.com as a movie review house rather moronic.

I don't believe we should necessarily accept any movie review as an approved guide entry.

Approved Guide Entries (whether this is by definition or just how things happen to be going) are generally user page entries that take a noun, and explains what that noun is for anyone who might not know, or for anyone who just wants to learn more about said noun than they may already know.

So an approved guide entry about a movie should do more than just say whether or not the field researcher personally thought it sucked. It should define the movie. It should give an indication what it's about, what one can find if they see said movie, how it is different from other movies, etc. It should perhaps help a person decide whether or not they want to see the movie, but by using more than just the field researcher's opinion.

For example, does it deserve its MPAA Rating of G, PG, PG-13, or R? Is it unsuitable for children to see? Will it easily offend people of a certain ethnic group maybe? Does it use the F word 23 times?

Is it an action flick that would appeal more to men than women, or is it a romantic comedy that could easily be stereotypically defined as a chick flick? What kind of people would be missing out if they didn't get a chance to see this film?

So a movie review that is saved as an approved guide entry should be more than a movie review. It should define and describe the movie. It should treat the movie in a similar way to how we've treated things that aren't movies in h2g2.com. Like tofu or bubble wrap.

What's the Deal about Approved Anyway?

I'm beginning to think the "Approved" thing is misleading to the other field researchers. The second you save a user page you make in h2g2, it is officially a part of h2g2 and will remain so until either you delete it or a mob of angry villagers come with torches to set our castle on fire.

Whoops. Sorry. Wrong movie.

Being "approved" just means your guide entry was edited and cannibalized by the people appointed by Douglas Adams to run this thing as well as the people appointed by the people Douglas Adams appointed. I mean it's a nice honor, perhaps. We're thankful and all that, but it's not really that big a deal.

Movie reviews would not always necessarily fall into the category of stuff we're trying to do with the Approved Guide Entries. Why? For some of the same reasons we reject entries now. To wit:

1. More Info Needed: To be an Approved Guide Entry, you need to talk as much about the topic in question as possible. A good movie review doesn't necessarily give everything about the movie away. A good Approved Guide Entry ABOUT a movie however, would have to tell us the end of the movie. Otherwise it wouldn't be a complete Guide Entry. Imagine a guide entry about Citizen Kane that doesn't mention "Rosebud." In my opinion, it can't be done. That's too imporant an element not to report in a guide entry.

2. One-Liners: Movie reviews can usually be broken down into simplistic statements such as "it sucks don't go see it" or "five stars! Joe Bob says check it out!" Any movie review that is little more than a one-liner would be dismissable as an Approved Guide Entry.

3. Personal, User Page Stuff: Most movie reviews are based on OPINION. Though some opinion can belong in approved entries, generally we're looking for facts over opinion, and movie reviews will rarely fit that criteria.

Whew! Now it's your turn...

Okay that's my two cents, and this page will no doubt change in the future to reflect the opinions of the Sub-editor staff as a whole. Please feel free to share your opinions below and as always those opinions will theoretically eventually end up in here some time before the end of the next millenium.

Or when Susan Lucci wins an Oscar, whichever comes first.