Smudger Snippets
Created | Updated Dec 7, 2006

I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days that all these memories come flooding back to me.
Sleeping Arrangements
... or kipping down as we would say in the Navy, but if you were on the watch-keeping bill you never got that much sleep any way. In fact, it would only be one night in four that you got what we called 'an all night in'. This would be from twelve midnight1 to around seven thirty in the morning, when you would have to rise in order to start work2 at eight in the morning. You would then work until eleven thirty, when you would be allowed to go for an early dinner as your next watch - which was called the 'afternoon' - started at twelve and finished at four in the afternoon. The longest day would be the day you had the 'forenoon' watch, followed by the 'first', as this meant that you spent a total of twelve hours on duty. This was not so bad if you were a seaman and working on the upper deck -'Up top' as we called it -, but seemed a lot longer when you were stuck down below in a noisy, hot and sweaty boiler or engine room.
My first ship was a small frigate, purpose built to serve in the Gulf, and was considered modern in its day, although these days it would be classed as a museum peace. It had a crew of around three hundred and we all had bunks to sleep in. The mess decks were small, when you consider that around forty men lived and slept there, and there were small corridors between the rows of bunks which were stacked three high. These corridors were walls made up mostly of the small lockers that we had to keep all out kit in. They were made from aluminium and were about three feet square in size and had to be kept highly polished at all times - especially on Saturday morning for skipper's rounds.
I was fortunate enough to be taken off the watch-keeping bill after I had spent about a year working the '1 in 4' watches and, during that time, I had been transferred from the boiler room to the engine room and then finally to the out side machinery or 'outside runner'. This was by far the best of the jobs I had, as it meant I could roam all over the ship checking on all the machinery such as fridges, air ventilators and generators, and these were placed all over the ship. A far cry from being stuck down the hole in one place for four hours at time, in fact I quite enjoyed being outside runner but I never dare let the Chief Stoker know that, as I would soon be taken off it if he did - logical thinking throughout the armed forces in general! Besides there were quite a lot of perks which came with that job and I exploited them to the full - which I covered in an earlier snippet.
Although I was in a job I liked at the time, I was still applying for everything and any thing just to get off that ship, as it was not a happy ship by any means. For a start it had a really mixed crew; I mean mixed in the sense that they came from all over Britain and did not get on with each other at all. Then there was a lot of men that had been demoted3 the ranks for various offences, mainly drinking problems, however. This meant that we had a lot of ex-chief and ex-petty officers living amongst the lower ranks - as we are called. This caused problems as most of them had a chip on their shoulders or just bad attitudes in general. So, when I saw that they were looking for crew to join the Royal Yacht Britannia I applied straight away, as I had applied for everything else according to the Chief Stoker.
Well no one was more surprised than I was when, some three months later, I was told - after going through a vetting procedure - that I had been accepted for Royal Yacht service. I was soon on a flight from the Gulf on my way to the UK to join her. When I did walk up the gangway of the Yacht I was told that she sailed the next week for a far eastern tour and I had just come back from there!
I was taken down below and shown my new mess. The first thing that struck was me was the space. There were a few bunks over on the bulkhead where the scuttles4 were, but I was told you had to have been on board for over twenty years before you could even think about getting one of them. Then, at the far end of the mess, I noticed a small kitchen area which was curtained off from the rest of the mess. It had a small fridge, a table with a couple of chairs and on the wall above the table was the night light covered by a large red shade. I found out just how necessary this light was to be a while later. Over on the other bulkhead stood a fire place, which with its brass fire surround looked very homely indeed - they even had a couple of small pictures above it just to finish off that home feeling. The fire surround was upholstered so you could sit on it; it was really comfortable.
Looking above, I saw the hammock rails which ran all the way across the mess and then I saw the mess tables with their bench seats. I was told that they were also used as beds, quite a few beds, in fact, as they used the table tops, both of which were around fifteen feet long. The benches themselves were used as beds, as was the area below the tables. In fact, the bloke showing me around said that he slept there and it was, indeed, the best place, apart from a bunk itself, to sleep. The bench seats were enclosed as they could use them for storage purposes. Over on the opposite side there stood a bank of lockers which covered that entire bulkhead. In between the two sides was a large living space, which filled up with hammocks later on. At the top end of the mess stood the large wardrobe doors, where we all hung our best uniforms. I sheepishly hung mine up the wrong way round as all the rest had their service badges showing. These are good conduct badges given for every four years of service and, of course, all these blokes had the maximum of three sewed onto their tunics. I only had the one and felt rather embarrassed about it. However, I was told to hang mine in line along with all the rest of them.
I was then told that I was the youngest ever 'Yottie' as we were known. This made me feel even more nervous as I unpacked the rest of my gear. I was told that I would meet the rest of my mess mates at dinner time. Another thing that surprised me about the Yacht, as well as the fact that they had hammocks, was that we had a bar on board where we could drink as much as we wanted, when we wanted. There was no 'issue' like before in general service.
Dinner time came. I met the Killock of the Mess5 and he set about telling me all I need to know while we ate our meal. That was another thing that I noticed; we ate from plates on there, not metal trays, and we also ate in the mess itself, as we did not have a dining hall. As he went through the mess rules I noticed that they did not have the same strict disciplinary punishments as general service. A good hiding was more the order of the day for most infringements of the rules. None of this stoppage of leave, fines or number nines - punishment duties - like we had in general service. Although it was a rather frightening thought, the idea of it appealed to me as at least your punishment was over with quickly. I need not have worried, however, as the matter never came up for me during my time on board.
Not only was the ship different from what I had known before, it seemed like it was in a time warp and run in the old navy style way. This suited me fine and I made a promise to the Killock of the Mess that I would never let them down, even though I was the youngest Yottie on board. Team work seemed to be what it was all about on there; everyone worked together, no one shouting out orders, they just went about the work in a totally different way, all pulling together. There was a totally different atmosphere to this crew altogether and, as I looked around them all eating and chatting away, I had the feeling that I had been there for years already. No one ever challenged you; as long as you got on with your work quietly, did what you were told, when you were told, life just went on in a casual manner. I had been put to work on the upper deck, even though I was a stoker - engineer - when I joined, as they said they were really short of hands to work the upper deck and would I do that to help them out. As time went on and I settled into the routine of life on the upper decks I actually enjoyed it all, the work was hard and the hours were long but no one complained, so why should I?
Later on that night I had to wait until all the rest had slung their hammocks or made up their beds on the deck before I could sling mine, a job I was not looking forward to as I had never slept in one before. I must admit, once I got used to sleeping in it, it was the best sleep I ever had. I saw a place in the middle of the mess but then I realised if I got out of it to go on watch or the head6 I would never get back in again as, once you have got out, all the rest would move in and fill that space. With the hammock rail being around seven or eight feet high, you had to pull yourself up and swing into it at the same time, so you would never be able to open a gap while doing that as all you efforts and strength would be put into holding yourself up there. Another thing I had to learn - apart from slinging my hammock and sleeping in it - was how to stow it away in the morning as this involved tying it up by throwing a rope around its diameter and tying it off every eighteen inches of its length. Try doing that when there is a bloke sleeping at your feet and others lashing up their hammocks just a couple of feet either side of you.
As far as that night light went, I found out just how important it was one night a few weeks later when I went to shake the bloke who was due to relieve me on watch. A lot of blokes slept on the deck and you had to watch your footing as you stepped over them. This also applied to the blokes who were kipping above them in their hammocks as you had to be careful where you put your feet when you were dangling from the hammock rail looking for a clear space to land.
I ended up spending my first night in a passage way, not the ideal place with the light being permanently on and people banging their heads on you as they went past, so I ended up sleeping on a camp bed in the engineering work shop along with four other blokes. Even this was short lived, however, as one night, during really bad weather while I was on watch, a large lathe chuck fell out of its storage cage and landed on my camp bed. Of course it was ruined, but this did not matter as we were now sailing into the warm weather and most of us slept on the wooden boards of the upper decks. This was ideal! All we had to do was to make sure that bloke you were relieving on watch knew where you were kipping so he could come and wake you in time for your watch. In fact, I think we all preferred to sleep there. It was a lot cooler and quieter, also, as all you heard was the water breaking at the bow of the ship as it cut its way through the waves and you could lay there looking up at the night sky which is totally different from what you see on land. You never heard that hum that can be heard below decks of a ship - it's the noise of the engines and the ventilating systems.
In fact, the only noise I did miss from the mess was the creaking of the hemp ropes that we used to sling our hammocks. They would all swing together as the ship rolled and pitched and you could hear all the ropes creak as they took up the strain of the weight as it shifted. The smell of this rope was also quite distinctive as well and it seemed to stay with you long after you had left the mess.
There was no tannoy on there, so you never heard all the usual pipes7. There was only a notice board system of different colours, one of which was the most important and superseded any of the others. All you had to do was read it first thing in the morning, then take note of where you should be and when. Of course, you had to keep checking it for changes, but the word of mouth system was usually quicker than the notice board changes. This was totally amazing when you consider just how many changes were made every day while we were on Royal duties. Even more surprising, it worked!
I had been told that my work place would be the quarter deck, which is the rear end of the ship, and that as the years went by, say twenty as he put it, I would eventually work on the Royal deck. However, due to some of the older blokes leaving in vast numbers, I found myself working the Royal deck and the boats a lot quicker, in fact nineteen years quicker.
I really enjoyed my time on there but I must admit that after the refit, where they fitted bunks in all the lower deck messes and also put in a dining room, a lot of the character was lost from the life we knew. So much so that I put in to buy myself out of the Navy altogether, as I knew that I would never settle back in to general service after being on the Yacht. Even though I had applied for this, I was asked to stay on until my release date came though. Normally I would have been put off the ship within a couple of hours of my request being handed in, a sign of just how short of crew they actually were at the time.
I do not think it was a shortage of crew, as much as it was a shortage of experienced crew, as a lot of the old boys left at the same time which meant that they never had the time to train up the replacements. One remark that I well remember was made by a mate of mine when one of the reporters who were allowed on for a look round after the last refit, asked him what was the main difference he had noticed since the refit. He paused for a moment looking very serious, and then replied... 'Well, you don't get anyone's foot in your breakfast any more...'
