h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cockroach acronyms

R.I.P. Rest in peace

R.I.P.M. Rest in people's mouths.

W.I.P. Wrest into pieces

Must Log-Off now....

My brain is going to explode.

goodnight..

Good morning! Anyone for a cockroach sandwich?

You are a very disturbed girl, Gwennie.

I'm going to take a look in my medicine cabinet.

I may have some pharmacuticals that can help you.

It looks as though I'm not the only one that needs help - I thought you were going to sleep... Only two hours? Methinks you need to visit the addiction clinic.

There's nowt that can help me, lad! I'm well beyond all that. *Gwennie gives an insane, toothy grin and profers a sandwich filled with crawley things.....*

Fancy a bite?

*Pulls can of Black Flag from magic bag of fun, aims ......fires............No effect*

*Gwennie continues to advance*

C'mon now - be a good little carnivore..... breakfast is ready!

*grins wickedly at wriggling sandwich, notices the kitchen clock and looks horrified*

Ohh, that reminds me - children! I have to wake them up - it's Monday and they have to go to school and I have to make their packed lunches and breakfast. (Don't you feel sorry for them???? )

Looks like you've a temporary reprieve BB

*Gwennie dashes out of room, throwing squirming sandwich to floor which still makes it way toward BB.....*

*Backs into corner, wimpers and looks to the sky for deliverance...*

Looks like I'm going to be here a while.

Hi sorry I was a long time there..... *Gwennie looks at mess on the floor* Oops! It seems as though BB came to a sticky end... I really must keep those sandwiches in a packed lunch box or something.

*Plaster dust falls from above*

I'm up here...

Are you stuck? Need a hand to get down? My pet sandwich seems to have crawled off somewhere.....

I don't know how to get down and i'm afraid of heights. And i seem to be all cramped up. I have been up here a LONG TIME after all.

*Produces large knife, stands of chair and starts to lever BB from ceiling.......*

Eeww! Sticky!

You wouldn't know how to put me back together now, would you?

Hmmm! I'm not too hot a jigsaw puzzles. Human anatomy was it? This cockroach head wasn't yours by any chance was it?

*Starts to reassemble bits and pieces from floor and ceiling....*

Umm..I'm not sure but I don't think a bear is supposed to have a thorax. Other than that you seem to be doing fine.

*arm falls off*

A little more glue right here please.

*Chews tongue in concentration*

Gosh! Methinks this is hard work... did you say abdomen and not thorax? Oh, dear! Where's the glue?

Nevermind the glue...Here, use this..*hands Gwennie a stapler*

Ooh ta muchly! *Stands back to admire work*

There, that should about do it! What do you think?

Hmmm...

*walks over to mirror*

Not too bad. Went a little heavy on the staples though.

Hey...What's this on my back?