h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am looking for a word meaning that halfway point between step father and boyfriend-of-mother
The word has to mean "Someone who lives with your mother, and has for a good long while, but isn't married to her", so, an almost-stepdad, but not quite.
any suggestions?

I don't have am amswer - am in a similar situation myself... In fact, that's why I was looking here, to see if anyone had any ideas on how to handle such situations... Am not living with my beloved (father of two), but he has a lodger/friend in the house. The kids are becoming confused (in my opinion) over who's who and what's what - and I am becoming frustrated and upset that he doesn't see that when the lodger (female) undermines my decisions/reads the kids bedtime stories/tells them to button up their coats and do up their shoes, it takes away from my relationship with the kids... As for your situation, why do you think you need a name for it? As long as you, your girlfriend, and her kids understand the innerworkings of your (respective) relationships, why categorise yourself? To make it easier for others to 'pigeonhole' you into a neat and tidy place?

How about 'Loser'...??

Hmm - a step has two parts, the vertical riser and the horizontal tread, so what about "treadfather" - ie, not quite the full step?

If pidgeonholing is another word for effective communication, then yes.

"This is ____." doesn't effectively convey what I'd like to say, which is "This is ____. A member of my family. Not my father but almost."

Your problem doesn't sound similar to mine at all.

Also, I grew up with many adults around. If your children are intelligent I'm sure they'll be able to remember who their parents are, but we're often taught to respect whatever adults tell us to do. Is that not the way you would not like them to behave?

Treadfather's not bad!

"Loser" is unhelpful and unwanted.

How about the person's name?

<> He will never be your father, even if he was to get married to your mother?

Why can't you call him your mother's partner?

Thats not true! My father is very much my father and he's no biological connection to me whatsoever. I think a true father is the person that has brought you up, looked after you, taught you right and wrong. The sperm donor whose DNA is pumping around my veins is in no way my father. That job has gone to the man my mum married! and boy has he done a better job!