h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You must all have seen some real stinkers over the years. Working in a clothes shop though, I would say that the worst tattoos are any which are done on something that sags. Yuck. Something blue and wrinkled between a sixty year old clevage could surely neve be attractive. I if ever have a tattoo I will have it on my ankle as that doesnt sems to sag quite as much as the rest of the body. And at least I could cover it up if it did!

I think the actual pictures that I like the least are those sword with thing wound round them that are all squat and out of proportion. The look like steak knives!

I'm so glad none of you know where I live because I'm sure I've just offended a lot of people.

Sorry every body, just my own humble opinion

FABT

The absolute worst tattoo I've seen... Well, not counting a number of rather dodgy faded homemade efforts, I'd say that the worst tattoo in terms of subject matter has to be one I saw about a month ago: a dolphin, holding a rose in its mouth, jumping over a crescent moon. *vom* All about 3cm across, slightly faded. The most hackneyed crap I've ever seen, and not particularly well executed to boot.

J

Sounds horrid, but at least it wasn't a unicorn

FABT

I think the worst tattoo I've ever seen is adorning the forearm of my friend's moronic ex. The tattoo itsself was scarred and faded, and obviously hadn't been cared for in any way (apart from maybe the odd elastoplast). Then we come to the content of the tattoo itsself. It was a Taz holding a cup, with the legend 'Liverpool Coca-cola cup 1994' on a banner wrapped round the handles. I mean...
1. A Taz. These are surely worse than dolphins OR unicorns.
2. A football team. WHY?
3. Even though I don't know much about football, surely the Coca-cola cup is fairly insignificant?
Tattoos are meant to be beautiful decorations that also make a statement, but people like him give tattoos a bad name. You get loads of them round Bournemouth.
Thanks for enduring me getting that off my chest!
Jaz xxx

That really does sound pretty revolting.

Thanks for the report, it's cheered me up no end!

FABT

The worst one's I've seen have been on the arms of friends, who chose and got tattoos while drunk!

1 wanted a punks head in profile, the clarity of it is quite good, tho the punk bore an uncanny resemblence to Magrat Thatcher!!

the other had a bat, over a thing that may have been a moon, tho had the colour scheme of a tequilla sunrise and didn't have a clear line in it - all smudged and blurred!

I've got two from over 10 years ago that I'm still very happy with and still occasionally get compliments on!

Z.

A lad I work with has a flaming skull spewing out a motorcyclist on one shoulder blade and supposedly what is supposed to say eat s**t and die in chinese on the other shoulder, probably actually says " Hey look at me I`m a total w****r."

is there even a word for s**t in chinese?

There probably is, you can get the Japanese for "wind of the bowels" in my local place. Really, why would anyone want that?!

There is a photograph of a terrible tattoo in the Erotica Museum in Barcelona....

It's a really badly down scrawl of Popeye in a muscleman pose, his top half is on the guys belly and his legs are on the guys thighs. so basically it looks like the guy's dick is Popeye's dick......

....why?

that's awful!

why bother, surely tatoos round that certain ummm area,are either out of proportion when you are errrrrr relaxed or out of proportion when you are not, either way you are going to spend a fair proportion of time looking pretty silly..........even if it isnt pop eye.





why pop eye?!



i think i'd rather have a tatoo of meatloaf!

FABT

The worst tatoo I have seen is not the subject ( a small butterfly on my mom's right bosom) but that she had it done cheaply in the early '70s, is now in her 40s and has had two kids and now it looks like an ant carrying a piece of cheese. It is my quest to get it fixed for her, before she shows it to another of my friends to convince them of not going under the needle.

i think an ant carrying a piece of cheese would be way more preferable than a butterfly actually.

still, harks back to the earlier point about not tatooing anything thats likely to sag later on.

anyone know it the scalp sags?

AARGH! Such terrible tattoo's! Although instead of getting it redone, maybe your mum could get implants instead and resurrect the saggy bosom?

The worst one's that I've seen so far...*gah*!...a Tweety Pie on the left arm of what looked like a heroin addict working in a kiddy accessories shop...a 5 inch Catatonia symbol on the right arm of a friend of mine (lines wobbly, filled in all wrong)...that fool from the last Big Brother's arm band (no, it DIDNT go all the way around)...and ANY tribal tattoo now, because it's been overdone by the mainstream.

I had my first done 2 weeks back now (it's just finishing off healing) and I must say, Im well chuffed with it. It's not pretty or girly or trendy, its MINE. I designed it, the tattooist modifyed it and the pain isnt as bad as I thought it would be. And I'm pretty sure I wont regret it in 20 years time. It shouldnt sag either...it's between my shoulders...

Wanting to get things off your chest seems strangely appropriate for a threat on tattoos...
I quite like those butterfly tattoos. Sure, they're typically nothing vastly original, but neither are most clothes people wear, most hair styles, and so forth. And I reckon they look nice - so there!

i do like this conversation.

question. why do some tatoos look like the ink has run?

becos maybe the ink really has..under the skin.
can anyone tell me whether tattoos on females have any sex appeal?and no iam not talking abt the ones between breasts..

i just replied to your first posting...and just figured out tht the first one on the list is the last one in the dicussion.talk abt morons...(maybe with tattoos??)

The absolute worst Ive seen I think started out as a rose, in theory anyway, it looked more like a red balloon on a spikey bit of string with some sort of blue splodgy thing under it... it may have been a dolphin, I think I'd be able to appreciate it more had I been blind drunk, maybe then I'd have been able to make it out!

Yeah there is a word for s**t in chinese - its pronounced 'see'

Helen