Not much has happened to me of late except for my first ever trip to IKEA. This I approached with some trepidation due to my natural blokey dislike of soft furnishings. However I soon discovered the perfect way to combat its reasonably priced sofas and neatly arranged living spaces. Just read all the product names in the worst Swedish accent you can muster. After all, no one wants to buy anything called 'Hit the chickie with the DRÖMVÄRLD, Bork, Bork'. Should you be Scandinavian I recommend using a Cockney accent, Guvn'r.

Flash Mobs, Hootoo Should Sue!

I noted with interest this week the sudden appearence in Nodnol of a Flash Mob. Apparently this is where a large group of people arrive in one place, as organised by a website, perform some odd, unusual activity which confounds the locals and gain a sense of cameraderie. Now is it just me or is this the definition of a Hootoo meet, only with not as much alcohol? And does this mean we can get on the news at the next one? If so may I alert the news services (who I am sure read the Post religiously) that the next Scottish Meet shall be on September 6^th in Aberdeen. We hope for snow.

Bon Accord

I have recently discovered Glasgow's premier Real Ale pub. It goes by the name of the Bon Accord, has a lovely view of the M8 and has ten ales at any one time. Purely for your edification I have every intention of reporting more fully on them soon.

Next time - The Lion that lies down with the Lamb shall soon find itself on the Paedophile Register.

My Life as a Boozy Oaf

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