h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

but you forgot Amani-les-Bains in Haiti. spectacular small beach, very private, clear water, good snorkling and diving...and surprise, no tourists.

The very unfortunate thing about beaches is most are located actually where most tourists decide to take a holiday or vacation. But however unfortunate, it does reduce the taxes imposed unnaturally upon the natives who reside beside, on or very near the beaches. And even though, due to the so-called bed tax imposed very unnaturally upon the tourist which lessens the natives' taxation with unnatural representation, you should hear how we bitch and complain about the tourists and can't wait until the season comes to a close and they all go home to Britain, Germany or the Great White North. They trash the beaches with bottles and chewed up straws; when on holiday the rule of thumb must be to leave at home all knowledge of driving skills, leaving the natives with road rage they take home to their families along with high blood pressure; they feed the seagulls, leaving the natives bothered by hungry seagulls when the season comes to a close and the desire to drink cocktails out of bottles using a clean straw.