h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

John,

Thanks for the nice editing job on Jargon. I generally, like the idea behind your introductory paragraph though I was deliberately staying away from computer jargon, I think the example you use works.

I am not happy with the change to the text of the last header. Without the original text, "Gimme Two Staring on a Stack Floating and Two Squealers, Dead," the joke about how the waitress placed the order can't make any sense at all. What's left is just a silly non sequitur. The header was intended to be the non sequitur which would be resolved by the reference int the text. If you don't think it works that way then let me try to work it into the text.

Also, you wrote:

Jargon is a language invented by specialists to confuse non specialists. Computing is a field in which jargon has been instrumental in restricting and hampering the uninitiated at every turn. Occasionally you see traces of 'humour' in computer jargon. For example, memory is measured in bytes, sets of eight bits (binary digits). The side-splitting technical term for four bits, or half a byte, is a 'nibble'."

Jargon is not a language. That is a significant part of what I was trying to get across in this article. You might change the first paragraph to read,

"Jargon is sort of like a language, only different. Often, jargon seems as if it had been invented by specialists with the sole intention of confusing non-specialists. For instance, computing is a field in which jargon has unintentionally hampered the uninitiated. Even the occasional traces of 'humour' in computer jargon is seldom helpful. For example, memory is measured in bytes, sets of eight bits (binary digits). The side-splitting technical term for four bits, or half a byte, is a 'nibble'. This may be funny but it's not helpful."


I would very much like to resolve these problems before the article is introduced.

Thanks,

Barton

In the interest of saving time, here is a possible change to the next to that paragraph:

As you walk about the streets, listen to what is being said around you, particularly when the people are dressed the same... but differently than you are. Stand outside an off-track betting parlour. Stand near a police station. Idle near a beauty parlour, theatre, or rehearsal hall. Really listen as your waitress calls out your order to the cook, "Gimme Two Staring on a Stack Floating and Two Squealers, Dead," - Didn't you just order two eggs sunny side up, pancakes with extra syrup, and an order of sausage, well done?

Barton

Hi Barton. I'll see what can be done about the change you suggest. The header titles were replaced because of their length. Sorry, the joke shot straight over my head without ruffling my hair.

I should point out that the introductory paragraph is basically the existing Edited Entry, 'Jargon'.

JTG

Hmmm. I don't find an article called 'Jargon' when I search. There's 'Medical Jargon' and it's unedited evil twin. Then there are my articles and the one we're currently preparing to push on those unsuspecting sheep...erm...nice people out there. After that there's a lot of unedited stuff and two entries on games.

Please list the other, if I'd known it was there I would have at least cited it.

But in any case, anything that says that 'jargon is a language' of any kind is wrong and horribly misleading.

If you don't like my rewrite that's why you're the editor. I just tried to remove some of the vitriol against computer jargon while keeping the reference. You could leave it alone by just throwing the whole paragraph in italics and sign it yourself as editor. I'm just not happy starting my article with a false statement that is going to be contradicted very shortly. The rest of it I chalk up to editorial style and I'm just trying to make that/your style blend with mine. After all, I'm going to throw a couple of major kicks at politicians at the end, though I try to do it *very nicely.*

Post here or at the conversation on your space when you have done what can be done and I will tell you what a grand fellow you are...or not.

Barton

However grand I may or may not be, any further modification is beyond my power. They have control who are above the simple pleasure we derive from having our names on things.

I had a look for 'Jargon' too... should've known better. The reason it no longer appears in a routine search is that it has been swallowed lock, stock, and barrel by the new Edited Entry. It will reappear in its original, unedited form after the new incarnation makes its debut on the front page.

Thinking about it - a bit, and not too deeply, admittedly - I doubt that most readers will be mislead into thinking that computer jargon represents an actual language. It may be wrong to suggest that it does, but I don't think there is much danger of anyone going into seizures trying to reconcile the phrase to the world as they understand it.

The tone of the piece that I grafted onto your work was more light hearted. It was really just an amusing little piece about the funny things people say who work with computers, and probably shouldn't be connected to your article at all, except that it had a prior claim to the title. Unfortunately, even though it takes liberties with the absolute truth, the thing had already been judged to be true enough. The problem is that, unless you choose to write about some arcane rubbish that nobody else is likely to know or care about, new material will continue to be added to whatever you write which may or may not alter the balance of what you really intended to say. Which is not to suggest that either piece was rubbish in this instance. Oh, no... far be it from me to suggest anything of the sort. They are both good, and quite worthwhile having in the edited guide, although for different reasons, perhaps.

Nevertheless and notwithstanding, I have forwarded your suggested revision to the Editor Deities for their consideration.

JTG

... bedtime.

You do realize you are talking about my BABY!
(Lady, that is the ugliest monkey I ever saw!)

Thanks for the attention and the effort.

Barton

Zounds! a Marxist (Groucho) in our midst!

As I said before, all I do is pass messages on to the saintly people who, for our sakes, are content to occupy a lower stratum of Maslow's pyramid and accept money for their efforts.

JTG

Money!?!

You mean they pay people to do that?

Wow! This changes everything!

Barton

Shocking, but true! In their defence, however, it must be said that they probably find being given money a terrible embarrassment (I know I do... on the rare occasions that someone gives me any); and the heaps of riches accrued is probably far less motivation than the god-like power.

JTG

Do you know the answer to this riddle? My first two letters are a man, my first three a woman, my first four a brave man, my whole a brave woman. What word am I? --------------------------------------------------- Not god-like at all, more like super-hero(ine)s! I'm just now visualizing the cosutumes as they fly from monitor to monitor and out windows for a breath of air and short jaunt around the Towers I've heard of but not seen. Mark and Ashley, apparently, have neat beards that flutter slightly in the breeze of their passage. I am hopeful that Peta does not sport such face fuzz. (See the thread on the article "A572159 - The Goatee Must Die" at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F48874?thread=119425&skip=0&show=20 ) Barton

"heroine"... thanks for the bonus clue.

Not god like? I suppose that depends on what you imagine gods to be. Strangely, when I do think about the physical space in which the production of our play land takes place, I almost always imagine it empty, as if everyone has gone for lunch or a quick pint. I'm going to have a bit of difficulty thinking of a kit appropriate to superhuman feats of getting things done between supernaturally long or numerous lunch breaks.

One trick is to use a mechanical clock. Remove the glass front and stop or even remove the hands. You'll find that lunch hours can last MUCH Longer.

Barton

I'm surprised that no one has come up with a variable speed clock, say a grandfather clock with a rubber pendulum. Tom Robbins was onto a good thing in 'Even Cowgirls get the Blues', when he described the Chink's clock, a labyrinthine contraption of assorted junk, which measures time in increments that a dull person would say were random.

Look, they spent all that time developing the pendulus clock and the Maine Spring clock. I've got a digitalis wrist lookiththat and the only thing that keep dependable time is the ding-blasted video tape machine -- it's always 12:00 but the gourd-apple blinking gives me a headache. I don't even want to talk about that noisy dripping from that antique Chineese water clerk, feeding him is just breaking me! The sand clock isn't all that bad, that soft hissing sound helps me to fall asleep. I really should take it out of the car though.

I have to go, Mickey is doing strange things with his hands again, Not that! Where were you raised? No, he's been out on the street flashing gang signs again. I told him to keep those suspenders attached to his buttons, but noooooo. Anybody knows those sighns don't care anyway. They haven't much cared since Spanky left anyway.

Don't ask me! I don't know! Third base!

Barton

A digitalis wrist lookiththat? Cool! Just the thing to keep the old ticker ticking too. Just don't lick its face too often.

Me, I keep an ear cocked for the chime of the village steeple bell. Tea break is when I feel like a cup; and home time is when the monkey antics of the natives has worn the edge off my missionary zeal (I have an electric sharpener at home in the shed).

Missionary zeal? I thought they were extinct, fur hunting or something. (No, they're not fur hunting, that's whut my dargz fur. They're fur skinnin'.)

Now, you be care full with that electric sharpener. You can cut yourself real bad on a sharp electric. You might be best shed of the whole thing. Them hole things are dangerous, too. You step in one a them and even your hat'll never come back. I gave my hole thing to the preacher, he's our local wholely man. I thougt I was wholely man but he showed me different. Jimmy Different, now he's pretty strange. He had one a them opperations and he's a she. Changed her name to Pretty Strange. She's not that pretty but she's gonna have it worked on two. That's right, both buttocks. Course, if they iffn they make a mistake and remove them, there'd be no butt about it. He, he. (She, she) I really shouldn't call her it. Butt I can't help it. She won't let me. Lord knows I tried. Tried and tried, they gonna let me out jail after this sentence is over. I'm out now! Yall take care (they're free, take two)

Barton

There's a lot going on, alright. And a lot of the threads in the rich tapestry of life turn out to be worms... which is only a problem if you happen to be one of those people who feel that walls should be rigid and get upset by a lot of rippling and wriggling about. Don't look close if you're squeamish, I say.

You know? If you paint those worms just the right way, you can make that naked (Politically Correct Usage Warning!) other-sexed person dance?



Barton

In the overlooked by history category: I once made a reclining nude petting a cat out of clipped plants. Never painted worms, I have to admit. But the thought of a worm mosaic is intriguing... probably easier than trying to weave 'em. Somebody, somewhere is bound to be working on one... perhaps the chap who did the Mona Lisa in toast.

Okay . . . I'll toasht her (hic) Bring 'er on over thish toashter . . . Did you kno . . . kno . . . knoahow that this wall looksh jusht like my flo . . . flo . . . flo . . . sheeling?

Barton