This Entry, however informative, cannot be used as an accurate guide today. It is more of a testimony of the state of the city during Milosevic's regime, and as such represents a decade-long historical overview. None of the 'facts' presented here, except in the introduction, are to be taken seriously. The ones marked with '*' had, by the early 21st Century, become completely and utterly inaccurate, and updates have been annotated via footnotes.

Introduction

"Those who do not know geometry may not enter". Those were the words on the Ancient Greece's school of mathematics. "Those who do not know politics may not enter!", are the words you're likely to encounter upon arriving at the gates of Belgrade, Yugoslavia's¹ capital and the biggest city.

Weary travellers may find it difficult to realize that Belgrade, although situated in Europe, doesn't offer any of the attractions your normal European capital would offer.

The city itself is a mixture of many architectural (and destruction) styles. The core of the city is the Old Belgrade, with buildings from the 19th century, when little Serbia was struggling to maintain its sovereignty under the rule of powerful Austro-Hungarian empire, and the crumbling Ottoman empire. In the part of the Old Belgrade near the River Sava there lies the Kalemegdan stronghold, a building which was built during Ottoman empire but its central monument is the Roman well, built approximately in the 4th Century AD. Back then, Belgrade was known as Singidunum.

These are just some of the well-known facts in the history of the city. Unfortunately, Belgrade didn't have much luck in its fifteen centuries of existence. Throughout the history, it was the battlefield of many armies: Roman, Slav, Hun, Turkish, Austrian, Hungarian, German, Russian, Greek, Serbian, Yugoslav and so on. Historians have serious doubts that there was ever a one-century peace in this city. All generations of Belgrade residents have experienced war in their homes. This certainly didn't allow the city to preserve its old monuments. Many of the foreign armies that marched through those streets in the past didn't have much tolerance for the cultures of other nations that had contributed to the city's development. So, we might say that Belgrade is a young city. It has died and been reborn many times.

A traveller reading this text in the middle of Belgrade's busy street is probably overwhelmed by strange events going on around him, and feels that the history lesson should be sped up in order to explain some of the customs of the City of 1000 Unexplained Wonders.

Here is a short list of things you should (and shouldn't) visit while in Belgrade:

*Airports

There is only one commercial airport near Belgrade, Surcin. Airports are listed at the very beginning because the first thought that occurs to a foreigner when he or she arrives in Belgrade (and spends about 15 minutes in it) is 'Where the hell is the airport?!'².

Information for Tourists

Just one - never state your political opinion in public, because in 101% of the cases the person who's listening to you will have different view on the subject (Murphy's Laws of Probability, Balkan Edition).

Public Transport

None. There is a myth among people that there actually was a public transportation service once, but that's nothing more than folklore, a mere legend. Instead, there are private transportation services that will gladly transport you, and the rest of the thousands of citizens waiting in vain for the bus to come, to your desired destination, as long as you have the money. The fact that the limit is 100 people per bus is of no importance to the 200 people who manage to enter the bus... on a devastatingly hot summer day... just when the driver realizes that he's out of gas... and that the doors won't open for some reason... Well. You were warned.

*Parking

Wherever one pleases³.

*Exchanging Foreign Money

You can kiss your hard-earned money goodbye on the city streets, because the only people who can change your money are city dealers. They wander around in the street, producing discrete trademark buzzing sounds. Buzzing comes from saying the word 'devize'⁴ very fast (then you can actually hear only the 'z's). They usually take more than a regular money-exchange service would⁵.

*Foreign Banks

None, unless they exist in some time-space dimension unknown to us⁶.

Hotels

Unless one wants to pay a gazillion dollars for a night in Hyatt Regency Hotel or Hotel Intercontinental, where rare foreign businessmen often stay, theoretically a hotel with ordinary tourist prices could be found. If one fails to do so, which is likely to happen, one can always look for a suitable park.

Restaurants

There are a lot of them - ranging from expensive, extra expensive, to ridiculously expensive; related to the average salary, that is. The food is delicious, especially the grilled specialities - an excellent way of gaining cholesterol⁷.

Bars & Pubs

Large array of different places to go out and have a casual drink. The traditional Yugoslav drink is called rakija⁸, and it is a strong alcoholic drink made out of grapes and several other ingredients. DO NOT drink rakija from a bottle without a label, as there were some wannabe producers of the drink who were putting too much methane in the drink. Several people went blind, and several died. And who says that whiskey is the devil? Other drinks include vodka, beer, brandy, wine... usually drunk at the same time...

Discos & Clubs

Always the favourite places for young people to go out and have fun. There are always numerous 'anonymous' discos, or private parties that turn out to be anything but private, because everyone invited brings along numerous friends (and their Uncle Bob, as our Western friends would say). You can't possibly turn down a cousin's girlfriend of a friend's friend.

Cinemas

A lot of them. Usually showing the latest movies, in the original language. There's one cineplex (five projection rooms) in the nearest center, Tuckwood Cineplex. A popular way of spending time during the weekend. Somehow, there isn't a single sarcastic thing to say about cinemas...

*Theatres

Again, a lot of them. Although plays are in Serbian, one can always go to the opera - if, that is, it's not on strike because of the low salaries, or the notorious Media Law (in short, law that prevents free speech and opinion). National theatre is interesting because it captures the spirit of Old Belgrade⁹.

Museums

Most noted are the Museum of Weaponry in the Kalemegdan fortress, and the Museum of Nature nearby. The History Museum is also worth seeing. Entrance fees are symbolic. Bombed buildings throughout the city should also be visited, as they represent sights unique in Europe (don't forget to participate in the game 'Cross the odd one out: Military Headquarters, Ministry of Defence, Chinese Embassy, Socialist Party's Headquarters').

Concert Venues

SKC (Students Cultural Center), Dom Omladine, Barutana etc. often host rock bands from all over the world (well, a couple from the USA and a lot from Yugoslavia actually, but that's a start). There are numerous discos, small clubs and concert halls, and a number of big venues like Belgrade Philharmony, and Pionir Hall where big bands from Yugoslavia occasionally have concerts.

*Markets

Perhaps the best aspect of the city's tourist attractions are numerous CD markets, where dazed and confused visitors can experience severe shock caused by outbursts of happiness upon realising that a music, computer or any other CD can be obtained for a price of only 4 US Dollars. The Music market is especially developed inside and in front of the SKC (Students Cultural Center) building, where any CD made by any artist on the face of the Earth can be obtained for the price mentioned above. Despite the copyright violations, markets are great places where you can meet other fans of a particular music genre, or even a video game, and discuss with them to your heart's content¹⁰.

*Embassies

Embassies, although not numerous, are easy to find. If you see a large group of people standing in front of a building early in the morning, cursing and swearing (prerequisite: learn Serbian swear-words), you'll know that it is an Embassy. A Yugoslav would stand in line early in the morning only if he/she is waiting for bread/milk in front of the store, or if he/she is sick of waiting for bread/milk in front of the store, so he/she is waiting for the Visa in front of an Embassy, in order to leave the country and never again wait for bread/milk early in the morning¹¹.

Parks

Favourite gathering-places of old and retired people. Usual sight is that of two old men playing chess on a bench and a dozen old men gathered around them who are pretending to watch the game, but are in fact engaged in never-ending political debates. Sometimes they complain about their health, but that's just a trick with which they try to weaken the argument of their political opponent, and to stop the train of his thoughts, so they can jump in with the counter-argument just as their opponent is about to reply that his health is not well either.

*Foreign Bookstores

There's one in the basement... of a hotel if that makes it better...¹².

Whatever happened to Milosevic, anyway?

He was elected out of office after what might simplistically be termed a populist uprising, and sent to the International Court in The Hague - where, at the time of writing, he is currently standing trial for crimes against humanity.

Related BBCi Links

The BBC News Website has more information on what happened in the former Yugoslavia after Milosevic was ousted.