How Dark Are the Shadows? (A Cut-Rate Film Review)
Created | Updated May 20, 2012
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How Dark Are the Shadows?
If you're British, possibly the first you heard of Dark Shadows was when the film trailer for the new Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaboration came out. If you've been reading the Post1, you might have noticed the obituary for Jonathan Frid, the original Barnabas Collins, a few weeks ago. Mr Frid passed away shortly after filming his all-too-brief cameo appearance in the new Dark Shadows film.
So, to recap: back in the Sixties, while you were cowering behind the sofa in fear of the Daleks, kids and teenagers in the US were sitting rapt in front of the telly wondering who Barnabas was going to bite next. The only reason most of our parents let us watch this stuff was because we were usually laughing. This wasn't because we were hard-hearted about the terrors to which Barnabas and the other 'monsters' subjected the more-or-less innocent victims at Collinwood. It was because the show was so low-budget: sets fell apart, tombstones wobbled, cameramen were sometimes visible, and the actors forgot their lines. Dark Shadows was a hoot – but it was also fascinating. Low-budget and one-take though it was, the show was performed by first-rate, often classically-trained actors (such as RADA alum Frid). We were getting Good Stuff here. Just like Doctor Who, really.
Elektra and I ventured into the film with the same trepidation expressed by multitudes of old fans from the Baby Boom: what was Tim Burton going to do to our beloved soap opera? That thing was a formative influence on many of us. (Quiet in the back. Yeah, I know, we're all weird.) Were Burton and Depp going to make mock of us and trash our youthful memories? We were, well, pleasantly surprised. We laughed our fool heads off – and there were moments of pleasant nostalgia.
Critical reaction to the film has been mostly puzzled. 'What kind of movie IS this?' they speculate. Is it a comedy? A horror film? A spoof on life in 1972?
In a word, yes.
It's kind of obvious that these critics aren't Dark Shadows fans. The film is a genuine homage to the series: like the Gothic soap opera with the passive-aggressive vampire, it's many things at once. Burton and Depp have pulled it off, replicating the overblown prose mixed with absurd details, the quirks of actors trying to convince an audience that all of this made sense, and the curious mix of Romantic-era style and 1960s camp that pervaded the 1,225 episodes of the original saga.
As Jonathan Frid was known to remark, the premise was ridiculous. A rather humourless 18th-century Maine merchant prince is turned into a vampire, locked in a coffin for almost two centuries, and released into a puzzling world, where he interacts with his descendants and embarks on a Byronic (and futile) search for his lost love, all the while battling whatever ludicrous ghoulies and ghosties the writers can cook up. Sounds awful, but it worked.
I think it works for Burton and Depp, as well. They were two of the kids who fell in love with the original series, they say. It shows. Helena Bonham Carter looks and acts almost exactly like the late, great Grayson Hall's Dr Julia Hoffman. If I closed my eyes, I could hear Barnabas' sententious cadences in Depp's voice. If you don't believe me, try Youtube. Check out a trailer of the new film. Then go find 'The arrival of Barnabas Collins' from the old series. You'll see what I mean. Even more startling was the way Johnny Lee Miller (cousin Roger) channelled the late Louis Edmonds. How did he do that?
The sets were fine. I swear they found the original, iconic coastal rocks for the ocean to splash against. (Probably different water, heck, maybe even different coast, the original was shot in New York City.) The music almost brought tears to our eyes – Karen Carpenter singing 'Top of the World' while Angelique swans around in a red convertible, yeah. That sort of cheesiness is vintage Dark Shadows.
To any old fan who complains that the jokes about lava lamps ('It looks like blood. . .') and TV sets ('reveal yourself, tiny songstress!') were out of character for the show, I say, your memory is faulty. Don't you remember the séance at Collinwood? Which one? Oh, the one that sent Vicky back to the 18th Century, so the whole cast could dress up in period costume for the next several months. Don't you remember? Poor Vicky showed up in 1795 in a miniskirt. Aunt Agatha stole her clothes and decided that the laundry instructions on the labels were Satanic symbols. (Vicky was convicted of witchcraft.) Now, what were you saying about 'ridiculous'…? I rest my case.
You think they shouldn't swear, show gore, or have sex? Puh-leeze. The only reason they didn't do it before was because the show was on in the late afternoon. There were laws against that sort of thing back then.
The joy of Dark Shadows was that we pretended to take it seriously. We watched, and laughed, and learned. All of the plots were stolen from great literature, and I suspect that many kids had their first encounter with these great themes while admiring Quentin's side whiskers.
How dark are the shadows? Not dark at all. But hey, without our favourite soap, you wouldn't have had Buffy, or Ultraviolet, or all those weepy teenage vamps. I recommend the film to anyone who remembers those good times of yore or would like to see a re-enactment of the fun and games that started it all.
For the rest of you, well. . . it's got Johnny Depp in.
