Diary of a Credit Watcher

2 Conversations

If seeing the words Best Boy give you a warm glow inside then read on.

Have you ever had a burning need to know where a movie was filmed? Who played the Second Holiday Shopper from the Left? How many Key Grips were at work? I confess, I do. I'm a member of that section of society that lingers in the theatre long after the action is over. We huddle in our seats, trying to ignore the ushers cleaning the floor and the admonitions of our companions who keep asking:

Are you ready? Is it over yet?

No, dammit! Leave me alone!

How to Tell if You're a Credit Watcher

  • You're really annoyed at the networks when they speed up the credits, minimize them to fit only the right-hand side of the screen, and have voiceovers advertising whatever merde passes for quality television viewing these days.
  • You know the name of the symphony orchestra playing and the location of the recording studio in which the soundtrack was produced.
  • The pimply adolescent ushers have cleaned the entire floor but for your row, and now you have popcorn and Milk Dud detritus swept up on your shoes.
  • They're clearing their throats, hovering near your chair, and making rude comments.
  • You've seen the lights go up, the emblem of the movie rating system, and the curtain lower more times than you can count.
  • Your friends/significant other/parents sigh in exasperation and say: 'Do you have to watch the credits this time?'
  • You also like to watch the previews too.
  • Accordingly, no one wants to go to the movies with you.

Fräulein Grafenberg


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