I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days, that all these memories come flooding back to me.

I was just sitting here thinking about what to write as my next story, and scrolling down my page at the same time, when I noticed the mention of the Pacific Glory. It struck me then that this was the first time in my life that I felt a rush of adrenaline which changed everything around me - apart from when I had the schoolboy rush of blood when I was with my then girlfriend who seemed ever so important at the time.

It happened on a night many years ago when I was just eighteen and found myself in a rubber gemini boat in a rough sea which was ablaze, looking for survivors in the water. I cannot even remember getting into the boat, but I can recall the smell and the heat from the flames of the burning fuel oil, and the noise! It was so loud we had to shout just to hear each other in that small boat. The wind was howling, sea spray cooled us down as the flames seemed to want to surround us.

At times we lost sight of our own ship as well as the tanker that was sinking; the sea swell was so high that when we were at the bottom of a wave all we could see and hear were the raging flames on the enormous wall of fire. Looking back on it now I suppose we were mad just for going in, but when you're young you don't even think of the dangers, you just carry out the orders you are given without question. There was also the question of proving your metal to your oppos¹ as the last thing you wanted was to appear to let yourself down in front of them. It wasn't until we eventually got back on board our own ship did we notice that the rope around the gemini was all burnt and singed, as indeed was our facial hair, and thick with burnt oil residue. Even today the smell of burning oil brings back the memory of that fatal night.

It was not until some years later that I felt the rush of adrenalin again, and that was high up on a structure we were building on an oil construction yard. We were bulding the jacket². This was no ordinary jacket, this was the largest one ever built to date. Even lying on its side it was taller than Big Ben in London. I was a welder at the time, working at the very top with a mate of mine working the other side of the large weld of the rig. We were so high up that we didn't even bother going down for breaks, so took them up there on the job.

It was 1974, round about the time that all those new 'health and safety laws' were coming out, so we were wearing safety harnesses for the first time as, up until then, we weren't provided with them. They were much like the type worn by climbers and had a long belt which you could secure to something solid. Up to that time we had been used to being free to move around the job without any restrictions. One day we were working away no problem, the wind was buffeting our shelter screens and the scaffolding was swaying, which was all quite normal. I had run out of the size of welding rods I was using, so I got up to pick some out of my mates quiver³. In order to reach them I had to jump across the gap between the braces. So I jumped and, indeed, was more than half way across when the safety harness which I had forgotten about stopped me in my tracks. I was pulled back so quickly that I never had a chance to grab on to anything! There I was hanging by the waist some 250 feet above ground, bruised and short of breath, just dangling in the wind some three feet below the brace.

I was spinning around and I could see all below me going round and round. My heart was thumping, I was so scared I couldn't even speak, which was just as well as my mate could not see or hear me even if I shouted, due to the wind. It took a moment for me to come round and gather all my thoughts again; my brain was running as fast as my heart was, I just felt so vunerable. Then, after what seemed to be ages, the wind blew me round to where I could see my mates boots and, after a few attempts, I managed to make contact and tap his foot. Well this gave my mate such a fright, as he was welding at the time, that he jumped and almost came down to join me!

After he got over the initial shock, he pulled me in. I was shaking so much that he had to light my cigarette for me and pass it over. From that day on, I never wore the harness again. It did the exact opposite from what it was intended to do, and did little for my confidence when working high. I was back up there again the next day, and left the harness in my tool box!

It was not until a few years later, while working in the ambulance service, that the adrenalin ran again. It had been quite a normal week of 'on call' which was not our favourite job as it meant being at home after already doing an eight hour shift on A&E -accident and emergency - then being called out at a moments notice. This meant hardly any sleep and most likely missing out on meals as well. This could make a normal seven day week seem like a fortnight, as it was quite common to be out most of the night.

We were returning home after being out on a job that took us to the nearest hospital some twelve miles away. We were both extremely tired, but cracking jokes about things in general, just to keep our spirits up. It was around two in the morning and we were hoping to get some sleep. As we rounded a corner I noticed some strange lights in the woods, and pointed them out to my partner who was driving. Then, as we got closer, we saw a man running out towards us waving his jacket in his hands to attract our attention. We stopped alongside him, and he was trying to tell us what had happned, but he was out of breath and panicking. We managed to get most of what he said, so we got all our kit and ran into the woods where this car had ended up after skidding off the road.

The accident had happened at a notorious black spot, on an 'S' bend just two miles out of the town. As we got near my partner found a casualty lying still in the undergrowth, who had been thrown from the car. He stayed to attend with him, while I went furhter into the woods to find the car on its roof, steam and smoke pouring from the engine. I knew straight away that time was against us, and shouted back to my mate to call for the Fire Brigade!

From that point on, everything seemed to go in slow motion and I went straight into 'auto pilot'. I remember finding two men in the car as I crawled in, one hanging quietly from the drivers seat by the seat belts, the other moaning in the back. I don't, to this day, know how we did it and I remember my mate having to help me fill in all the reports later on that night. Yet, when the fire crew arrived, the car was ablaze, and we were treating the two survivors some feet away getting them ready for the trip back to the hospital we had left what seemed a lifetime ago.

Unfortunately one did not survive for long after arrival at hospital but the other, although badly injured, survived. We were cleaning out our ambulance and restocking ready for going home, when I got that pungent smell of burning oil again. 'No wonder', my mate said, 'look at the state of you. I was a right mess, covered in blood and oil along with leaves and twigs which were sticking to me. I remembered that smell from when we were pulling them clear as the car went up, yet I never noticed it until later.

I suppose it was the fact that we just came across that accident, that made it different to all the other jobs we had done. We never had the usual time to get ready and focused on the drive to the job.
Whatever it was, I think it was the smell of the burning oil that brought it all back to me. It's a weird thing this adrenalin!

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