... disgusting things!

Love bites are achieved by sucking on some poor soul's neck almost hard enough to draw blood... apparently as a sign of affection.

The rumour that the application of toothpaste to the wound aids recovery is a myth. You just smell of toothpaste for the remainder of the day.

The only way to hide these hideous marks is to cover yourself either in Concealer¹ or wear polo necks for the duration of the affliction. This can be a couple of days or, if you are dating Dracula, several weeks.

This is a sackable offence... and very unhygienic.