h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

so I was looking at some papers that the kids brought home from school, activity type stuff and found myself *really* wishing that I had the money to sign them up for these things or that their mother would pony up the money for them. That got me thinking, if requests from both me and the kids can't get her to help her kids do the activities they want to do then maybe I should force her to help them. In the past, I have said it is not worth it to go after her for child support. I am starting to think differently. I need to contact the Office of Recovery Services (ORS), the state agency that goes after parents for child support.

Ben, if she can afford to help support her children, then she should do so. I'm in your corner on this one. Don't feel bad about doing this. What would she do if your situations were reversed?

I know nothing of your system for childsupport. As many other wellfare items, in this country child support is regulated and a part of 'common responsibillity' to which we pay tax.

There is a minimum sum per child that the parent not living with the children must pay to the parent responsible for the daily support and upbringing. And an extra sum per child for single parents paid via our public system (tax again). It comes to the parent in charge via the council - and the other parent pays to the council.

In that way the parent responsible for the children is sure to get the money it cost to bring up the children including activities. And it is the council that has the hassle with collecting from the other parent. The council can withhold a percentage of the debts to the public (tax, childsupport etc.) in the debtors wages or dole or public aid or pension.

The council is the big bad wolf - not the parent who takes care of your kids.

I think, for your childrens sake you should get an arrangement for childsupport from the mother of the children. Preferably through a system that is 'objective' (i.e. the rules are...and you have to follow).

It is not good for kids to feel they are the cause of conflict between their parents, and that is probably why you haven't taken action sooner. An outside big bad wolf is preferable.

But your kids ought to be able to do a little of what their friends regard as normal. Attending activities and such.

I also think it's reasonable that she should help out if she's in any way able to. Good luck!

As Hypatia said, if their mother is working and can afford some money to help out then go for it. Don't feel bad about doing what you think is right for your family.

Hyp, I feel that if she can afford a car payment, she should be able to contribute a mere $100 to her kids for entertainment/activities (such as cheerleading or karate lessons) each year. I don't ask a lot.

Taratonne, In the State of Utah there are two ways that I am aware of to go about collecting child support. The 1st method is a nonbinding agreement between the parents for a specific amount. My ex won't go for this, sad as that is. The second method involves the government taking 25% of the non-custodial parent's gross earnings, minus $2 for processing, from work each month and sending it to the custodial parent. While I don't like this route and don't want 25% or her earnings, this is the route I am going to have to take I think.

I agree. If you cannot make a peacefull AND standfast personal agreement, your should go for what are the children's right to support from the non-custodial parent.

Is she a single parent as well? Or is she living with somebody - friend or partner?

My stepson lives with her, last I checked she was getting child support from his father.

So, she is a single parent (I assume your stepson is her son), and knows how vital the child support is. She should be able to appreciate your family's needs and the nescessity for her to pay child support.

On the other hand, depending on her work or non work situation, she will probably not have much 'spare' money lying around, and I can understand why you have been going easy on her.

I hope you and the kids (and stepson?) have had a warm and joyful christmas.