h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yumpitty tum-tum, yumpitty tum,
Yumpitty tum, pah-rumpitty pum.
Yumpitty tum-tum, yumpitty dum,
Yumpitty pum, pah-rum-ba-dum-dum.

'lero, 'lero lullibulero,
'lullibalero, lullabaloo,
Yum-PUM pitty pum-pum-pum
YUM-pitty pum-pum-pum
Tiddle-y PUM pah-rumpitty-TUM!

Thank God for Jonathan Swift. If it wasn't for people like him, I would feel like a stranger.

Lemuel Gulliver thanks you.

*backs away nervously*

your.... your all insane

Not true! I'm only partially insane.

nonsense! I'm partially insane; the other part o fme is all lobster. well, I've a few bits that are also partially obscured by clourds, but its believed, behind teh clouds, is just more bedding plants; probably lupmins lupins and ... wallflowers... although the verdidct is out on this I belive

Lupins, aren't they hallucinogenic? If so you probably are made up of lupins.

Or are they just poisonous? I can't remember.

Actually, apparently the seeds are eaten around the Mediterranean, but you have to prepare them correctly (like lots of other pulses, I suppose).

I think one of my chemo drugs comes from the lupin family... or was that petunia... or... nah, can't recall! I think I'm probably hallucagenic by now

close... vinblastine comes from a member of the periwinkle family.... - that's teh horrible horrible one that took away sensativity in my fingers damn thing - I mus tplant some periwinkles on my balcony... for next summer

They'll take over your balcony, and then go on to devour the rest of your town .

Yes. I'll grow them big... and nasty.. and they'll think they're gona kill me... like the vinblastine tried... then I'll go all weird on it one day, and kille it all to get my own back ! that could be kinda amusing actually.... just for a laugh mind... - its all for a laugh really... I'm so hopefless at taking anything serious

Sweet peas would be nice on a balcony, and I reckon if you sow them now they would have time to bloom. And they are very scented!

I'm not sure William's hayfever would like that! - not entirely sure, bu, actually getting the idea I might be re-developing my chilhood allergys; could be side affect of chemo, killin off T cells that have been suppressing the allergic response, since I 'grew out of them', as it were... (no actual science fo rthat.... yet, but it kinda makes sciceny sence to me, immunological speaking, I think...) well... seems vaguely plausible - not had the full on sneezing and stuff yet, but definatly noticing pollen more than I normally would have, since I grew out of hayfever etc, in my early twentys... - been meaning to put plans on the balcony for years... but never get round to it; difficult without a car or access to one, to pick up, e.G., plants, or big tubs, or bags of compost etc - nearest place to hear is quite some walk away that'd selll garden type stuff I think sweet peas would be cool though, they always grow quick from what I recall; but, I am terrible at atering things! ; my houseplants didn't get watered again, for like .... since last year, until W noticed I'd just utterly ignored them whilst being sort of ill - they've come back from the brink of death again though! - just like me I guess... again...

"I'll go all weird on it one day, and kille it all to get my own back !" [2Legs]

Are you so sure you could really kill them? They are very tough to kill.

They may be tough. but I@m tougher. or more insane. I forget which. My indistructability combined with forgetfulness and err... whatever else its combined with, is a force of insanity to be reckoned with, or, at least, counfounded and confused by. well... I wasn't that stable to start with... now I@m like ... err... some really unstable thing err.... things that means things.... err.... words... yes... words, things that mean things, escape me. Hmm. I'm even starting to find being me is odd... which in itself is odd... if I'm not careful teh resultant contineous ciricle of ... circlying thingg, will be... all kinda circular.... I think the plants oughta watch out... they're not match for me... when.... something ... which... is really saying soemthing. probably