h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We had the Polis in our house tonight.

To explain the circumstances...

Some of you may know that we've had a long-standing territorial pissing dispute with our neighbours over parrking. They (ie she and ex-husband and various boyfriends) object if we park our car so that it intrudes even 6" into 'their' space - ie outside her house. We, on the other hand, don't give a flying fruitbat who parks where, and parking isn't a problem on our street (there are no houses directly opposite). In the past this has led to a minor assault on me. For the sake of an easy life, we try not to encroach - but sometimes it happens. Recently, she and the current bf have been at our door at various times of day demanding that we move our car immediately when 'our' space becomes free.

Anyway...the other day, first thing in the morning, her car rolled down the hill with only her seven year old son on board and hit our car, writing it off. (before continuing and hitting two others). Hey ho, these things happen and that's why we all pay insurance. Not a word of apology, but there you have it. The police attended, and we assumed that this was because there was a child involved. What we didn't realise was at first was that the policeman was the bf who'd been called off duty to hush it up. Convenient, no? Still - no skin off our nose and we were just glad the kiddie was OK.

So we get her insurance details (but still no apology) and arrange repair and a hire car. It all got needlessly complicated - all sorts of phone calls to arrange, plus being without a car for 2 days. B ut eventually we got a hire car delivered and parked outside in 'their' space...although there was still a hassle arranging to get our car towed.

So...I got on the phone. After about 30 mins of telephone anomie, getting passed from one monkey to another, the doorbell went. C answered and there seemed to be an argument going on. It was the bf. It seemed that he was convinced that we'd parked in 'their' space in revenge for the accident and we had to move the car right there and then. I tried explaining that the car had only been their ten minutes and I was currently talking to *their* insurer and would get to it presently, but he wasn't having it. I closed the door on him. He kept ringing. I finished my call and opened it. The recovery company called, so I took that call. I asked him to please go away. He didn't. I finished the call, and he said 'Right! Will you move it now, then?' I said 'You know what? I've just been on the phone for half an hour. I'm gagging for a cup of tea.' Her rang our bell and knocked at our door and windows for forty-five minutes.

We rang the police.

They turned up and sort of *half* took statements...but basically tried to fob us off. Do you reckon they'll pursue it? Me neither! On the other hand...I don't reckon he'll have a great day at work tomorrow. Just think of how much paperwork he's given his bosses!

So why are we the ones who are left quivering like jellies?

Babylon!

What a total asshole.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with "neighbors" like this. I hope neither C nor you was too upset at having to talk to that creep.

Ugh. I'd go to the papers if I were you.

How ghastly. Your neighbors need to get a life.

Happy Thanksgiving kids

I'm more annoyed by the police's version of our statement. Half the stuff that would get him into big trouble wasn't written down. But that's the Babylon for you.

Raatid Babalan a gwan fiss up I-man pon dem dutty cuss-cuss bizness.

http://www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/66433/1227777575/iman.jpg

Ras claat!

Christ....

FB

I've worke out what it is that *really* pissed me off.

It's that the consonant-vowel-consonant-consonant ((c) Charlie Brooker) was judging me by his standards. Like I care who parks where. Like I blame them for damaging something as trivial as a car. Like I'd take petty revenge by trying to piss them off.

Anyway...C knows a few senior Babylon and one of them has advise us to request a meeting with his Chief Inspector. Plus we'll give ourself some cover by seeing our MP.

When you know what it is that annoys you, you've taken the first step towards enlightenment. Actually, Edward, I reckon you're about five steps along on the road to enlightenment.

Good luck with the proceedings.



Your neighbours may be bnoxious, but always remember you're a good, honest, upstanding bonobo.

Truth. Good luck monkey.

Give 'em hell.

Possible infractions your pet PC may be guilty of:

Unprofessional conduct
Conflict of interest
Harassment
Obstruction of justice

I think that "The truth good luck monkey" owuld make a great kids tv show....

FB

It gets even more bizarre. I had the iPod speakers music on as we were doing the housework this morning. Maybe it was a little louder than civilised night time volume, but my no means kickin' out the jams. (It was Leonard Cohen, fer feck's sake). I heard a knocking noise, which I at first thought was the door. It took me ages to realise that it was thye neighbour banging on the wall!



A post seems to have gone missing. Anyway...I can't seem to get this old Irish folk song out of my head:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=PbrMiCPcsHs
Wait for the chorus to grasp the significance.

(Originally by Burning Spear, iirc)

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1p2g2WuGXwE

Let me know how things turn out.