h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi everyone.

I just wanted to start a little conversation to get me through the weekend. If you're passing by, feel free to say hello.

Hello

Hello, my dear! I'm still at work (Friday afternoon here and I've just had a nice department lunch, with margaritas!). Hope you're feeling OK in your new place?

Hello to you too. I hope you're settling in OK.

Hi hun, I'm sorry you are feeling scared. Feel like talking about it? Sending good vibes your way.

My brother just had surgery, but is recovering fine, which is a huge relief.

Hello to you all

I'm feeling very lost at the moment, and the free weekend rather scares me if you know what I mean. It's a stupid situation, I can't take the stress during the week, and I can't stand free time either .

I'm trying not to think too much .

If only I weren't feeling sick with fear all the time .

Hello have a cyber stick to hootoo, you're guarrenteed a smile if nothing else.

Just checking in to say hello! Hope you're managing to enjoy some down time.

Hi Susanne, hope your weekend went okay.

I'm doing laundry. Can I stand the excitement?

I only had two minor breakdowns at the weekend.
This morning I went to a new doctor, but I didn't like him at all. I don't think he can help me . Next, I'm trying to find a therapist. I've got a whole list of therapists to phone, but I'll probably be put on a list myself, with unknown waiting-time.
Hmm, I'm so tired. All this waiting is exhausting. One seminar at 12 today was cancelled, so I've got nothing to do until the next lecture at 16.15 h. At least I had some pancakes to eat today .

Meantime...I hope you're managing to keep putting one foot in front of the other. The trick is to keep breathing, etc. etc.

Distraction can be very important at times like this. Make sure you schedule yourself some happy time. Plan a nice bath...or a pancake or something. No - really plan it. And stick to it. And consider taking up something mindless like jigsaws or sudoku.

Most important of all: remember - you're not 'doing badly', just feeling bad.

Gawd...all this is easy for me to say, from out the other side. Just hang on in there, girl. It *will* get better.

I tried to make a plan yesterday, so that I would be less scared. I wrote down everything that needs to be done, and then the things which I could realisticly manage to do today.
I'll try to read a little when I'm at home, but sometimes I can't concentrate on it.
Still another 1 1/2 hours till the next lecture...

Thanks again for all your encouragement.

No. Don't plan everything out that you've *simply got* to achieve. You're setting yourself up to fail and feel bad.

Keep it simple. Just plan yourself some happy time. That can be an anchor point for your day.

The rest?...it will sort itself out. There's no problem so big that it can't be ignored for a while.

>>I'll try to read a little when I'm at home, but sometimes I can't concentrate on it.

Again...choose something you *can* do, so that you won't feel bad if you can't do it. Be gentle with yourself. It's allowed. Just like if you had a sprained ankle so were leaving off jogging for a while.

Hmm, I'd love to lean back for a while...

...or maybe not? Didn't I write a couple of days ago, that I couldn't stand free time?

I don't know what to think.

I'm actually half-invited to come along to a party tonight. But I desperately want to sleep, and tomorrow I have to get up early, too. I can see my flatmates already thinking that I'm boring because I miss out on the "fun".

So...if you can't find free time, and you end up with some because you can't think what to do...this could be where the distraction comes in. Sudoku. Jigsaws. Planned walks. You don't have to be - maybe even shouldn't be - finding useful things to do and goals to achieve. But if the empty, lonely time is getting you down...that might be a simple way of coping.

The party...you could always tell people that you'll go just to show your face, but you're tired and plan to leave early. Then, if you enjoy yourself, you can stay.

While I generally find myself with free time and nothing to do for different reasons from yours I do believe that Edward's suggestions are sound! Sometimes it's just not feasible to use down time for anything "productive" or "useful"; too much pressure. Taking a nice walk works for me when I am feeling either bored and restless, or stressed and overwhelemed. It can be distracting in the nicest way. I also sometimes do crosswords.

I'm not positive that any of my comments or recommendations are of much use to you. I don't know what it's like to be stressed and overwhelmed by circumstances quite like yours- so I hope I don't sound patronizing or like I'm downplaying things. I do have a tendency to sound lackadaisical.

Re: the party, Edward's idea sounds like a good one. I'm not a big social butterfly/ party sort of person, either. I'm not sure if I'm antisocial or just lazy. But going out, or going to visit other people, etc- it takes a lot out of me for some reason. The "I plan to leave early" then staying if having fun has worked for me many times. As has- as mean as it sounds- showing up and leaving when you're damn good and ready.

Yeah...at the stage you're at, susanne, the best advice I can give is around little behavioural things to help you get through the days.

But you *will* get better, and then you can think of organising your life properly.

I don't know if it helps at all to know, Susanne, that even many of us who are "well" (whatever that is) can't always organize life the way we'd like, or the way other people seem to expect we should. I'm just winging it, too, most of the time. It's not a sign of weakness or failure. It's just being human and doing the best we can with what we have to work with. In your own time.

I'm confident you'll get through this and things will be much better on the other side.

This might sound really stupid, but sometimes doing the same thing at the same time every day, and scheduling things for down time, takes a lot of the "what should I be doing now" stress out of things. I have a bit of a problem with always feeling like I should be doing something, and doing it better than everyone else (accompanied with a persistent feeling of not being good enough at it). It's hard for me to sit and relax and not feel guilty for doing so. But scheduling leisure activities- as retarded as that might sound- makes it seem less "aimless" for me, if that makes any sense? Maybe in your situation, scheduling stuff for your free time would make it seem less like free time, and less frightening?