h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You mean, like an off-switch?

... which brings us back to silent movies. Hey, haven't we gone full circle?

I thought you were going to say: "... which brings us back to Kevin Bacon"

And speaking of full circle (in an indirect fashion), big police car chase around North Taranaki this morning! Want to hear the goss?

If you insist...

From h2g2's Taranaki newsroom...

A car chase across North Taranaki has ended with two police cars damaged and the offender's vehicle written off. At 9am this morning, New Plymouth Police observed a vehicle speeding in Mangorei Road. Senior Sergeant Mike Merrick says police attempted to stop and speak to the driver, but the driver continued ignoring both lights and sirens. Mr Merrick says this was of great concern given the time and proximity to New Plymouth Girls' High School. Police briefly abandoned the pursuit at Bell Block due to speeds of more than 140 kilometres an hour. Two police cars resumed the chase through the back blocks of Inglewood. The chase came to a conclusion when the offending vehicle rammed an undercover police car, causing both vehicles to leave the road. Mr Merrick says the offender tried to run off across a paddock but was arrested. The undercover police vehicle was a write-off and the offending vehicle was also extensively damaged. Another police vehicle received moderate damage. No serious injuries have been reported in the chase, but one officer was taken to hospital with glass fragments in the eye.

For h2g2, I'm Mustapha.

Because you *needed* to know.

Why was he (or she) on the run? Who was after him (her)? What color was the car? We need to know...

I hope in the past hour you've been interviewing the cops!

From the Taranaki Newsroom:

A man appeared in the New Plymouth District Court following a major car chase across North Taranaki. Tony Nikora Patuwairua, 27, and unemployed, was remanded into custody without plea. Patuwairua faces charges of endangering transport, failing to stop and driving while disqualified. He is due to reappear in court on July 12.

For h2g2, I'm Mustapha

So in answer to your questions:

1) He was disqualified from driving and naively assumed that speeding away from police might somehow distract them for the faux pas.

2) The police were chasing, both uniformed and one undercover/plain clothes officer. No doubt because they don't get enough excitement from raiding motorcycle gang/clubs HQs.

3) Both the offender's vehicle and the undercover vehicle, a Toyota Soarer and a Nissan Maxima respectively, appear to have been of a silver tincture.

4) The original car chase story was based on accurate notes of a report by Senior Sergeant Mike Merrick (also a standing councillor).

It's all happening!

If you had a helicopter at your disposal, you could report on these things live!

We almost do have a heli at our disposal. The Tnk Electricity Trust sponsors the region's rescue helicopter, and the rescue helicopter trust's chairman has had a working relationship with 7 Tnk Television.

Somehow I think they would frown on us using the chopper to film the carnage of a road smash.

Besides, we, or rather I, still don't have a dedicated news camera for such things.

I've never been in a helicopter.

But you don't need a camera - your trusty notepad and pencil will do fine, and contemporaneous usually go down well ina court of law.

Just remember to buckle up before you lean out...

... and keep my head down?

It's like one of those Zen riddles, isn't it? The sound of one hand clapping... tree falling in the woods... tv reporter without a tv camera...

... cappuccino cup with nothing in it...

... which is just a lame excuse for a shameless plug for my article, which hit the front page yesterday, along with an unexpected cappuccino pic.

Unexpected Cappuccino - a tale of Conceit, Covetousness, Cravings - and Coffee!

Starring Kaeori as the Over-Worked, Over-Caffeinated Heroine!

At a Cafe/Cinema House near you!!!

Ooh, sounds exciting. Can I copyright the title before Hollywood moves in?

By all means, have a copyright on me...

© Kafé Kaeori Enterprises Inc. 2001

Of course, Hollywood® reserves the right to steal the idea at any time, and makes just enough changes to the story to avoid paying you a dime.

'The Unexpected Cappuccino' - sounds like a bestselling book. Why is my mind completely blank?

It was hot.

Damn hot.

The steam rose from the cup clouding my vision.

But then, my vision was plenty clouded from last night's Steven Seagal/Robert De Niro marathon...

I like a steamy novel!

A nightime marathon with Steven Seagal and Rover DeNiro sounds interesting too!

Rover? Damn typo, not Freudian at all, if you don't mind.

Rover De Niro, eh?

That's so good, I'll have to on an adequately barbed response.