h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So I'm getting tired of being ill. This year I've spent more time ill than well and the novelty is long gone. For want of a better idea I spent most of today sprawled on the sofa in a succession of ungainly postures as for some reason I simply could not get comfortable on what I know to be the World's Best Sofa.

From the sofa I could see cobwebs I haven't noticed before, dust that I can no longer ignore, and a paint job I am just itching to redo. The problem of course is that I don't have the energy to do anything about any of this. To take my mind off it all I decided to stare out the window instead, where I could see the weeds I need to pull up and the semi-dead shrub I should put out of its misery so I can plant something that's more fun. There's no energy for any of that either.

TV wasn't much help. We had another political crisis today; the Speaker of our hung parliament resigned, which has all sorts of ramifications but I don't have the energy to go into all this either. The one bright spot was seeing the Manager of Opposition Business getting so very grumpy that I thought his head might explode. I was at Uni with this guy, and I sometimes wanted his head to explode back then, so I live in hope. But nothing exploded and the weak government came out of it in a slightly stronger position so it all ended as well as it could have.

I alternated watching the parliamentary broadcast with watching a flock of galahs squabbling outside. There wasn't much difference. (Here's someone else's photo of a galah: http://kookaburra.typepad.com/photos/snaps/galah.html )

And now I'm off the sofa again. I should eat something, though the thought doesn't appeal.

Ivan.

What you need is another dose of Kurz' soup, I'll see if I can get hold of him.

Not sure what's worst - being unwell at home, seeing everything that needs doing, or being unwell away from home.

I think being unwell away from home is worse; I had my first bout of pneumonia in Brisbane, where I knew nobody and was stuck in a cheap hotel room... and the only way to get home was to fly, which isn't so good with pneumonia.

*sends Ivan a telescopic duster*

Fabulous! Now I just need someone to wield it on my behalf...

*awaits volunteers*

What Ivan needs is a Butler. I think we should all club together to pay for one.

Not sure whether the Butler would tend the garden, so we might have to pay for a strong young gardener as well.


I am working on achieving the Butler solution for myself. I live in hopes, but optimism is as close to the reality of this as I've got so far.

Hope you feel less wretched soon Ivan.

Thanks.

If there's no butler available I'll be perfectly happy with only a strong young gardener.

I knew that sentence would perk him up

Weird you can't get comfortable on that nice sofa. Hope you feel better soon.

The situation probably calls for cocoa.

How about a time share butler. Because I want one too. We could go thirds, Lanza and Ivan. A time share butler with a transporter. Anyone else in?

I could also do with a butler...

You have my sincere sympathies, Ivan.

I've spent the last two months more or less confined to bed, too tired to do anything sensible and too awake to doze off completely. The only thing I have achieved so far is a complete chaotic circadian rythm. Currently I'm clockwise somewhere around Washington DC.

Luckily the both youngest hatchlings live in the same city as I, so they take turns in shopping and doing the most necessary housework. The Lair Cats are happy though. Lots of possibilities for extra treats.

Dq, that sounds perfectly tedious and mind-numbing.

This butler's going to be awfully busy...

I hope you have lived up a bit, Ivan

I'm not very often at h2g2, but now I've been traveling through old threads to find the journals of my friends.

Keep up the journals. They are very well written, a linguistic inspiration, humorous and give me an update of your life - and Australian politics, which is not very hot news here in Denmark.

We certainly need a lot of butlers

I would volunteer if I were any good. I'm better at hanging around, chatting and sipping

But don't take my word for it. Ask Lanzababy, the