h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Fignity? Crivvens I love coincidental freudian typos!

You got a two-for-one offer on dignity and decorum, Ivan?



az

Dignity is a burrowing parasitic infection of the mind. Decorum is a parasitic infestation found in wallpaper, bathroom tiling, and Ikea furniture.

The eggs will hatch in Ivan's soul in around three days. Then woe betide anyone who tries to feed him apricots with the wrong type of fork.

Forkin' hell - I sent him a crate of tinned apricots yesterday! Can anybody local intercept it?

Eeewwww!

Icky eggs of thingys hatching inside Ivan's soul? Gross!

Meanwhile, don't knock IKEA. We got some very good tables from them last week - though had to pay a small fortune to have them delivered (we don't own a car). Talk about a consumer-unfriendly company!

az

Ah, but you will have to pay twice as much for them to take the stuff away when you find you can't erect them! These Swedes never give you enough screws to be able to do the job i find.

*hands hijacked thread back to smutmasters*

zdt

Don't do yourself down T&Y, you're a smutmaster aswell!

I've never had anything to do with IKEA. Am I missing out on much?

I wouldn't say so, all things considered. IMO, while they do stock a handful of good pieces now and then, for the most part it's overpriced dorm furniture.

However, in Azahar's case, the tables she got sound perfectly functional and like they utilize available space well, which is important in business-related equipment. It's just a shame that IKEA soaked her and Noggin on the delivery.

So I won't knock 'em too badly. And they are among several companies who don't make donations to conservative political organizations, so that works in their favor in my book.

Well, depends on your taste really. The idea is that it's cheap & cheerful, but you have to erect it yourself & the things have bizarre Scandinavian names with lots of umlaüts & the instructions are in some medieval Nordic language that time forgot.

*If* you are very lucky you may end up with a pine table. If not; you end up with several planks &

Oy Roymondo; yes, you over there, tsk tsk; MOI? smutty? Anyway, aren't you supposed to be chained up & whimpering on the stairs with 2 legs on the willy thread?

*marches off to tell Aye Bee*

Poor Ivan, but 'tis your own fault love, with a title like that you will get every smutlover on hootoo over here. Don't worry, we all know you are personally a little with a fondness for totem poles & attractive kangaroos.

zdt

Terri, you are giving away all his secrets!

No i'm not; would i give anything away?

I am selling them on ebay

zdt

Now that makes sense!..