h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Gasp* I'm writing another journal! Ah well. I'm running for the Virtual Mayor of London. Interesting experience. I'm being taken out of context. And instead of a good picture of me there's a chimpanzee. But I've gotten that sorted out. It should be fixed soon.

Oh, that isn't a picture of you? Hmm, maybe I should find out a little bit about your policies, or lack of them, then.
That pic, had just secured you my vote, the concept of a virtual mayor who wasn't afraid to monkey around and all that...
Well, might just have to reconsider! Have you got a resume anywhere?

I've got one right in the resume section. Not that it's very informative. I do have a better pic now, though.

Okey dokey, still liked the chimp, but if you're willing to change the doughnut hole for a cookie, and can attractively wrap it in laughing gas instead of oxygen and nitrogen... we might be able to make a deal!

Of course you may have a cookie. And given that laughing gas is just nitrogen and oxygen anyways, I think I can accomodate your gift wrap requests. You really liked the monkey better?

Well, I don't want to get personal here, it's maybe that monsters have always associated themselves more with monkeys, I,m not sure... But hey, that chimp was pretty darn cute, didn't you think?
Laughing gas is really just N + O? Oh man, no wonder I bummed out in chemistry, too busy laughing and never understood why! Honest, I thought I was on the way to producing an environmentally friendly atom-bomb! E-!!

I suppose the chimp was sort of cute, yeah. But I look nothing like that. At least the new press photo started off looking like me.

And yes, laughing gas is just nitrous oxide, or NO2 (with the 2 in subscript). Don't ask me why that causes laughter, I don't know.

Cookie Monster enters with a wicked grin on face, waving a little glass test tube around...

HAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah

*THUD* Cookie Monster lands in a purple heap on the floor...