This is a Journal entry by Blackberry Cat , if one wishes to remain an individual in the midst of the teeming multitudes, one must make oneself grotesque
Hospitals and Old Age
Blackberry Cat , if one wishes to remain an individual in the midst of the teeming multitudes, one must make oneself grotesque Posted Oct 31, 2004
I have to keep reminding my mum life goes on
she worries about what will the relatives think because she chose to have the wake in a hotel rather than at home
she worries that if she plays golf too soon her friends and neighbours will think badly of her
she is thinking of having the ashes scattered at the cemetary rather than somewhere more personal to her and my father because its consecrated ground
I'm doing my best not to be another source of pressure for her whilst telling her to do what she wants and that her real friends will understand and help whatever she does, even if its not what they would do
Hospitals and Old Age
Snailrind Posted Oct 31, 2004
Poor thing! Are the relatives really that unreasonable, or do they just want her to be okay?
Hospitals and Old Age
DA ; Simply Vicky: Don't get pithy with me! Posted Oct 31, 2004
Blackberry, your poor Mum! The problem is, that at exactly the time people should not make any decisions, is precisely the time that they have to... It's natural for her to worry that she hasn't done the right thing. It sounds as if you are saying exactly the right thing to her, and I am sure you're a source of strength and help to her, that she will really appreciate, even if she can't express it now - she will later. 
Hospitals and Old Age
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Nov 1, 2004
Of course, in reality people don't (mainly) think like that. Would any of us really care where a wake was being held? We'd probably just think 'Don't blame her. It saves all the bother of having it at home'. It's awful hard when people start fretting about things they don't have to.
Besides, 'Honi soit qui mal y pense'.
Hospitals and Old Age
hellboundforjoy Posted Nov 1, 2004
BC, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. and so sorry I didn't get to this thread until just now. I didn't mean to ignore you at all, I'm just still way behind here. I'll be thinking of you.
Hospitals and Old Age
Blackberry Cat , if one wishes to remain an individual in the midst of the teeming multitudes, one must make oneself grotesque Posted Nov 2, 2004
Thanks all 
Funerals over now so thats one relief
Neither before, during or after did anybody complain about where the wake was held, but that didn't stop my mum worrying about it
Key: Complain about this post
Hospitals and Old Age
- 41: Blackberry Cat , if one wishes to remain an individual in the midst of the teeming multitudes, one must make oneself grotesque (Oct 31, 2004)
- 42: Snailrind (Oct 31, 2004)
- 43: Scandrea (Oct 31, 2004)
- 44: DA ; Simply Vicky: Don't get pithy with me! (Oct 31, 2004)
- 45: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Nov 1, 2004)
- 46: Researcher 556780 (Nov 1, 2004)
- 47: hellboundforjoy (Nov 1, 2004)
- 48: Blackberry Cat , if one wishes to remain an individual in the midst of the teeming multitudes, one must make oneself grotesque (Nov 2, 2004)
- 49: hellboundforjoy (Nov 2, 2004)
- 50: Scandrea (Nov 2, 2004)
- 51: ani ibiishikaa (Nov 4, 2004)
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