h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't say you should have gone to "Specsavers!", because I did. (UK advert reference, for non UK readers)
Now I am trying to get used to glasses that seem to have 75% of their area set to "blur" when I am trying to look at things.
I either have to dip my head (and multiply my chins) to look into the distance or raise my head (and look snooty) when looking at my computer screen.
I may need to get a longer nose fitted to accommodate the repositioning of the specs.

I think I'll go with bifocals. I've heard varifocals need some getting used to (for those who can't grow a longer nose).

I had a pair and never got used to them

Don't worry about going back and taking up their offer for free replacement glasses

Maybe Pinnochio was a prototype for people who need varifocals...

*wipes glasses on Vestie's vest*

You might have something there

Ooh, a new fragrance. Essence of Lil's bins.
My favourite.

I've noticed that as someone approaches I have to change my head position to see them properly. So I have to lower my head to stare through the top part of my specs and still have them in sight. This gives me a disapproving/threatening look. Imagine walking towards someone who lowers their head and looks at you below their eyebrows.

I don't know whether this is to my advantage or not.

Hmmm, the shape of things to come for all us specys

Routing around forums and other sites it seems they may take a few weeks to adjust to.

Maybe you got the wrong ones? I opted for the widest angle possible and, with the exception of stairs in a dark area, don't usually have a prob.. But then I didn't go to SS, but an independent... and over half a grand worse off!

But they work!

Now where's that light switch?

MMF

I opted for the widest I could get, too. I've been wearing them all day and have managed stairs easily (by closing my eyes and doing it by feel) and have hardly offended anyone by walking by without seeing them. It is really strange having to move my whole head instead of just my eyes to see something to the side of my central focus!

Still not getting properly used to them. I'm going to take them back. I'm expecting tears from the shop as I spent the proverbial arm and leg on them and so I'll be expecting a lot of discussion about have I tried them long enough and given them a fair chance.

I'm still seeing the world in blur for 75% of the time which never happened with my old prescription distance glasses.

This head moving thing to see what you are looking at makes you into a bit of a weirdo. When responding to someone next to you by glancing towards them with a movement of the eyes used to do now I have to turn my whole head - which used to indicate something like, "Do you know what you have just said?" or "Mmm, I'm REALLY interested in you!" or some other less than subtle thought. I hate it. I love subtlety.

Scratches vest to release odour of fairy wings flapping gently on the breeze.

Stand your ground, waft your vest to release the odour of 'fairplay' - then choose your new frames

Woo-hoo! I went back to Specs Averse.
"Hello Mrs Glasses Lady but I would like to return these specs what have been perchin' here on my nose for a period of four bloomin' weeks!"
"only four bloomin' weeks! That's hardly no time at all, me lad. We have people who have been practicin' with them for years and not brought them back. Give them a proper tryin' out."
"I wish to return these specs to the shop that saves them. Namely you. I don't want the trouble of liftin my head and duckin' my head to see what's what in the world. I hinsist you take them back this hinstant!"
"Wimp! You could have given them at least another fortnight before bumpin' into the doorframe and tap-tappin your way in with that white stick we kindly supplied you with.
"Madame! I wish to say farewell to these hinstruments of the devil and get a nordinary pair of eye goggles so that I don't kill myself or anyone else by accident."
"Oh, alright then!" *noise of sulking*
"You can bring them back in a week when you'r new single vision lenses will be ready."

Hoorah! I have single vision lenses and wherever I look with them everything is OK. I also got a GBP159 rebate on the difference in price. Beware of the "Free varifocal lenses" adverts. The ones I got were expensively top of the range. I think the free ones require a neck extension and a prehensile nose.

They might let you keep the vari-focals so you can practise your head movements in them

I think I would end up with a neck like a lowland gorilla if I kept them!