h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wonders which cupboard it was*

Which cupboard was what EV?

*leans against one of the cupboards and inadvertently sets off the booby trap and promptly disappears through a trapdoor*

Waaaahhhh!

There's a sign on this one that says "Beware of the Leopard"...?

No, that one's a red herring. There's one that opens a secret trapdoor which, when opened, causes the opener to fall into a vat of warm marmalade. Just be careful when you're opening the cupboards, Nap.... Nap? Where's she gone?

*a muffled voice comes up from the trapdoor*

Hello????

Someone hear something?


*munch, munch, munch*

Nap? I don't understand it, she was right heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.......

*absent-mindedly falls through open trapdoor*















*plop*

You just fell on my toast! Now what am I going to eat?

*looks around*
Marmalade. Lots and lots of marmalade, really quickly.

I don't even like marmelade. *starts to look a bit alarmed* Is there supposed to be quite this much marmenlade at the bottom of a big pit?

Well, there's no law against it.

Well, it's your pit! Why is there som much marmelade, and where is it coming from?

It's to stop people rummaging in my cupboards. Don't worry, there's a way out over there.



Or is it over there?

*waches the marmelade level rise to her knees*

May I suggest you start remembering pretty soon!

I do wish you'd stop panicking.

*starts to wade through the marmalade* Look, there's the exit over there. *wades towards a door which quite clearly says "NO EXIT"*

Sorry, I tnd to get that way when i'm stuck in a pit that's slowly filling with marmelade.

*starts wading to the exit*

Are you sure that's the way out?

Of course! *points to sign* It says "exit", doesn't it?

Oh.

Well, er... have you got any better ideas?

You must have designed the pit with an exit, surely!

Well, I remember discussing it with the builders, and we decided that.. er... that would make it too easy for people to escape.

*marmalade approaches waist level*

We did reach a compromise, but it involves releasing the marmalade-eating snakes. I was hoping it wouldn't come to that.

Marmelade eating snakes. Tell me that's all they eat, please!