h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Er... left... right.. Which one's that?

The one that hasn't got your watch on it.

Well, why didn't you say so?

*throws one end of rope*

*catches it and starts pulling on the rope*

EV, you are holding on to the other end aren't you?

*grabs hold of other end just in time*

Of course.

*starts pulling up the rope bit by bit until EV reaches the top of the trapdoor*

Phew...that was hard work!

Are you saying I'm fat?

*grabs hold of the floor and pulls himself up through the gap*

Thanks Nap, that could have turned nasty.

You're welcome. Though ultimately it was all your fault...stupid booby trapped cupboard, with a stupid trap door, leading to a stupid pit filling with stupid marmelade.

You say that now, but there are a thousand possible circumstances in which you'd be glad of that.

If you say so...all I wanted was something to go on my toast (is reminded of an AA Milne poem about a king who wanted something for his bread, but can't quite remember it, so to google for it).

*is almost reminded of same poem* Was it honey?

I can't quite remember, but I think the queen was going round trying to get something for the king. I wish I was at home, cos we have all the AA Milne books there.

Got it! And on the BBC too!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/poetry/milne.shtml

Hey! Well done! I do love AA Milne's poetry. Reminds me of my childhood.

*starts looking nostalgic*

It was butter!

*starts looking nostalgic too, whatever that looks like*

*starts swimming in the pools of nostalgia that seem to have appeared out of nowhere*

I was going to offer you use of the bathroom to wash the marmalade off, but you seem to be doing okay.

Yes.

*idly wonders what nostalgia might look like and whether you would be likely to float in or not*

Well, nostalgia's not what it used to be.

Let me guess, it was better in your day!