h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay hold yer mug out. Wow, that looks a bit stewed, time to get the kettle on again.

No, you're right, it's not worth falling out with anyone over a nickname. What surprises me though is that the registration machinery doesn't pick up doppelgangers when a new recruit comes on board. I suppose it always has the background info that can differentiate people, but of course it doesn't help forum readers to see the same name. And it's often hard enough remembering who you're replying to without having to memorise a number.

Age? Age? Who's counting? Er, well okay....I'm a late '54 model, just before the tail light fins and chrome radiator grille. Now I see you've just arrived in this warm cuddly community, How are you getting on so far? You do know it can take over your life, don't you? And let me just ask: out of all the forums in all the sites, how did you end up walking into mine? *piano starts up with sentimental tune* Sam, I thought I told you never to play...*Sam gestures towards blu, who in the half light, looks eerily like Ingrid Bergman*

Err, don't know what came over me there, more tea anyone?

Regarding the Doppleganger-issue: indeed, memorising numbers is hard for many people (not for me, thank the aliens). But when the occasional Doppleganger comes up, it won't be hard to distinguish one from the other, I believe. Expecially, since this kinda thing doesn't seem to happen all the time.

Age: I'm not counting anything, except my marbles (very boring job, if you can't seem to count further than 1). Anyway, I'm quite an early model '59.

Indeed, my first posting was in your forum, or maybe just a reply to something you recently said. From any posting it wasn't hard to figure out that, to learn about the person you're reading from or writing to, you just click their name above one of their statements.
Your name then leading to your home, and showing your forum. )

I found you just by chance, I must add. I had no clue about what to do first after signing up, and when I found a list of topics to which something was posted RECENTLY, I just browsed through those, and found a few interesting things here.. ))

I know what this kind of thing can do to a NERD, my friend. I've been a NERD for about 20 years now, and have seen my share of Fido, newsgroups, IRC and ICQ to know that it can, and most probably WILL, consume you entirely. And I'm easily addicted, too...

*blink, blink*
YAWWWWN...
*looks around, sleepily*

Uhh...Hullo ALL!

sorry for the jet lag, must have dozed off in the transition over the Atlantic. It's still morning here, and have just completed transferring child to place of learning, washing up, checking mail, and all of those other little pesky things that go with life. I suppose the rest of you have already spent most of the day in exciting intellectual pursuits.

TEA? Yes, please. Nice and strong. Thank you, Spiny.
*slurp, slurp*
Ahhhhhhh....that's better.

How do you do, Festival?
*extends paw, politely*
Thank you for the nice comment about visiting me. I'll be popping over to your place shortly. The thing about the Guide is you just wander about for a while and leave comments where it seems appropriate, and...Bingo! there are conversations going on. It's NOT your basic chat room. [or I wouldn't be here--detest chat rooms] What to do with your page? the easiest answer is write about what you know. The Guide is a fairly eclectic [or was that erratic?] experience. You never know what you are going to find laying about. And it is definitely still experiencing growing pains. While Spiny's experience with the dopplegangers illustrates one of the finer points that could be improved, TPTWVH ['The Powers That Work Very Hard', 'cause they don't like to be called 'The Powers That Be'] are inventing improvements all the time. Just being able to log in and out was a major improvement for people who share a computer, or who use several different ones.

Oh, and Spiny, I did some research about US/Cuban relations and found the following on the USIA website. When the Pope visited Cuba there was some loosening up of travel restrictions which have continued. Here is a quote about who may travel to Cuba from the US:

"All passengers taking a direct charter flight must fit under one of the licensable categories. In addition to persons traveling once a year to visit close relatives in extreme humanitarian need, by far the largest category, journalists and official government travelers who qualify under a general license, others may qualify for a specific license. Among these are: persons traveling for clearly defined educational or religious activities, persons belonging to recognized human rights organizations."
So I guess "Journalists" or "educators" might include filmmakers?????

Still no trade in rum and cigars, tho...

Whew, I'm exhausted after all that.

*curls up in comfy chair and sipps tea*
[sings softly to self]
"...you must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss...
ta-TUM, ta-ta-ta-ta-TA-TUM-TUM...
as time goes byyyyyyyyyyyyy......"

*Roars friendly* Hi bluD,

How was your trip? You seem to have been following me around, after all. My hunch was right, then... So much easier for me, huh?

This not being your basic chat-room: I agree, this is even more fun!
It's what I would call (sorry for that) a highly advanced CHAT-room

What I know? Wowowow... not so fast. Like many of us, I know a lot. But to find something that few others know, and that is still worth writing about, that's an entirely different chapter I guess.
I'm kind of a "philosopher on demand", so to say )

As far as Dopplegangers go: I would hate to find my favorite nickname being occupied in a system where people can't have the same name.
IRL there are lots a guys named Jim too, right? Anyway, it's easy for me, I've already verified (by looking for friends named Festival) that I'm the only one with that name.

And I noticed something else, too (unless I've been dreaming that):
When I would change my name, all postings I dropped before the change, will suddenly show my NEW name. The H2G2 system is most certainly an advanced relational database. Everything I do is tied to my researcher-number, and where appropriate, that number will be replaced with the name I currently have. this brings on two major advantages to the system:

1. If I suddenly change my name, you'd still be able to track me down, be just following the link from a message you KNOW that I've written before that.
2. If somebody would try to jerk around, changing their name to mine and then pissing everyone off and taking on their original name again, they will find that they didn't get away with it

I would thus conclude that TRP [as in "The Responsible Powers"] have done well, even if some improvements would be nice.

*OUCH*! Now I strained a facial muscle... means I've been smiling to often in one positng. I'm off searching for a soothing ointment...

"Remember Paris? Sure I remember Paris! You wore blu, the Germans wore grey..." But when we meet in Cuba after this war which you hate so much is over, and our troubles don't amount to a hill of beans, this Cuban rum oughta take the sting out of being occupied...*snaps out of it, looks around, momentarily bewildered* ah um yes...more tea? Or maybe you'd like some of this Bowmore malt whisky? I'm sure it'll do more good than any ointment, Fest.

So yes, it's all to do with missiles and communism, this Cuban thing, isn't it, blu? Excuse the lack of knowledge of American history, but even my British history's crap. And why were you over the Atlantic? I thought you went to upstate Michigan. Let's face it, my geography's crap as well. I probably won't even be able to find my way back here from the toilet, or even remember what year I went.

You're right about the retrospective renaming, Fest. When I changed from Spiny Norman to just plain SPINY, it renamed all my previous posts. So you can cheat imposters that way.

Right, a quick slurp before I go for me bus - I'll leave you to lock up, and see you tomorrow, which'll be my last day for a while as I 'm off on hols to Cork, Ireland for a Jazz Festival. Stay as long as you like, but on no account wash the big brown china teapot - just rinse it out and it'll keep its lovely patina. *slurp* Night!

*sings softly*

"when the lights go on, all over the world....."

*looks pensively, reflectively, into the amber liquid in her glass*

*wonders how she got into a wwII B movie*

*looks pensively, reflectively, into the amber liquid in her glass*
*wonders how she got into a wwII B movie*

Hmm, my hunch was right all along: you ARE a she-dragon
I've been told the females are the wisest, just like with elephants

Hi guys, get the kettle on!

Manners, Festy boy! Of course blu's a lady - why else would I be comparing her to Ingrid Bergman? But hold on a minute, B-movie? It might have been made as a B-movie, but I think its status has been elevated since then. At least in my book. We're so sad that when it was shown last Christmas, we put the Ceefax subtitles up and played all the parts. I can just about manage a credible Bogart, but Moira's Peter Lorre was complete pants I'm afraid. This did nothing for the exchange "you - you despise me, don't you Rick?" "Oh, I probably would if I gave you any thought", which is one of the best put downs in movie history. Although "I'm older and I got more insurance" is good too, but I can't remember which movie that comes from.

Right, chicken Kiev for lunch in the canteen today - must go or there'll be none left.

Hi Spiny,

Here's yer cupper!

>>Manners, Festy boy! Of course blu's a lady - why else would I be comparing her to Ingrid Bergman?<<

Heyho, Spiny my man... There's nothing wrong with my manners, is there? I didn't ASK blu is she's a lady, nor did I ask her age. I wouldn't DARE, being a gentleman and all ))

But how should I have known her gender? I've been here for only two days now, and haven't read ALL the articles in H2G2 (yet). I've never seen any notice of you comparing her to anyone.

No, Festy boy, I know you weren't wanting to be a cad and a bounder! But if you remember a few days ago in this thread blu referred to her husband...? Bit of a clue there, don't you think? So even if you weren't on board five days ago...aha! so you haven't read the whole thread! *dons deerstalker and pipe and adopts patronising tone* You really must pay attention to the smallest details, Mr Festival - they could all be vital in solving this case. *realises Conan Doyle didn't write Casablanca. Removes garb. Blushes and drops patronising tone*

Right, well, I'm sorry to have to leave you two, but I'm off on my holidays to Cork, Ireland for Guinness and the Jazz Festival, so I won't be getting any screen glare for the next two weeks. Look after the place for me, and do give Wonko a visit. Cheers!

Oh, and have a look at my first ever guide entry "THE LAWS OF CARTOON PHYSICS" if you would, please. Let's know what you think, and if you can remember any other applicable laws.

S

Oh, dear, they're quarreling...

Now, now, boys, I really don't mind the sexless part [well at least temporarily]. It's sorta nice to talk to beings who DONT factor in the female/male cultural mish-mash. And I've always been able to toss a few back with the best of them. Or at least so I was told in my youth.
[ah...that's drinks, I mean--toss a few DRINKS back]

And while we're on the subject of personal declarations, you have both candidly given your vintage. And they are quite nice ones too.'54 and '59 were very good years as I recall.

One of the first things I noticed about Spiny was back when we were getting all nostalgic about toys, he seemed to be reminiscing about some of the same decades I was.

Now as to MY age; there are several ways to look at it. In dragon years I am around 200 which is actually quite young for a dragon. I don't know exactly how old, tho, because for quite a while I have had amnesia and have actually thought I was a greggil [that's dragon talk for 'human']. My dragon memory is slowly returning, tho. [see my dragon article for more information]

However, in human years I must admit that I am, indeed, older than dirt. For quite a while I thought DNA and I were the only beings around here who were over 25. I have been quite relieved to find out that this is not the case. As to my human age, lets just say that I remember the 50's...ALL of the 50's...and then some. But don't try to blame me for Pearl Harbor, I wasn't there.

Oh and Spiny, I would NEVER implly that Casablanca was a B movie. Only that if I were in one it would probably be. 'Here's lookin' at YOU, kid...'

Pity you won't be sseing this for quite some time...
I hope your holidays may be enjoyable, and you may return from them safely and well-rested ))

Ah, and how many days ago are you referring to exactly??? If it's more than, say, 52 hours, then you can safely assume that I haven't seen it, because I wasn't even a registered researcher yet!

If I WOULD have seen such a line, I would most certainly have remembered.

And indeed, I didn't read the whole thread... I haven't got all the time in the world, you know? )) I just jumped in, reading only a few messages before the point it which I made that jump

Hi bluDragon,

We were most certainly not quarreling, mind you. There was just a bit of a miss-understanding, I believe. Doesn't matter.

When I'm trying to decide whether or not someone is a viable partner for some conversation, I never look at age or gender. These are irrelevant factors, that say nothing about ones attitude.

I myself also like to believe that '59 was a good year: after all, *I* was born then, and that's still influencing my existence

About you having seen the 50's, well, to be honest, I already guessed that you had seen at least PART of it, because you tend to quote phrases of music from the sixties, such as from "The Carpenters" which I'm also familiar with

About Dragons then: I have a little advantage, being interested in Fantasy and Fairytales. Therefor I've come to accumulate a few odd facts about Dragons, for example about them being a race of creatures of tremendous power and wisdom, both of which can only be achieved when you're able to live for about a few thousand years.

Hi guys, back fresh as a daisy (that won't last) with tales of great jazz, great Guinness, things like trips to the famous Stone at Blarney Castle, a great 45th birthday party, and, oh... my head's just full of stuff. How y'all been? Run out of tea and biscuits yet?

Hullo, hullo!

An' happy 45th!


Welcome back! This is the third time I have started this note. There is a page somewhere that crashes my browser. Happens every once in a while when a Forum is REALLY looooong. I think it's the Halloween party at http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=19743&thread=25382

So I wont open that page anymore. At least until I finish this note.

Anyway, there has been lots happening in [and out of] the Guide. The above Halloween party was cool, but the author seems to be leaving the Guide. Looks like they wanted to be a sub-editor, really, really, bad and got fed up waiting. [Or maybe it was something else, I didnt read all his posts] Boy, he shoulda been here last spring at startup when they got 10,000 Guide entries BOOM! just like that. And they have been backed up ever since. I waited about three months for my first rejection...

Festival has written a great SETI page, and the h2g2 Researchers for SETI has grown to 29 people with over 2 years of CPU time contributed. He also got his 'Playing God' article listed on Peta's Picks on the front page. We have sorta 'drifted' apart. [Or maybe it was when the bisuits ran out] I've been up north sanding floors in my cabin, and we have both been writing other pages. There hasnt been much chatting for the last week or so.

I got my article on Alice in Wonderland accepted. [waited 14 weeks for that] And have written an article on Banned Books, plus created a Wiccan Forum. I SHOULD be compiling the Children's Toys article, but havent settled down to do it yet.

In addition to the cabin trips, my husband had a little 'roto-rooter' job on his heart. Had some blockages which they were able to clear by going in through an artery. Sure beats heart bypas surgery. He is feeling pretty good, and I told him my contract is good for at least 15 more years, or I will trade him in for three 18-year-olds. HAH!

So how was the jazz festival? And what kinda jazz is it? I am sorta musically impaired. I like Gershwin, Cole Porter, Glenn Miller, etc., etc. folk music and chamber music. Not very good with modern stuff. It gets real blurry after Elvis...

Glad you're back. Write soon.

blu
}:=8

Hey, good to be back and nice to talk to you again. I almost considered going to an Internet Cafe because I was missing everybody so much, but that wouldn't have gone down well with Moira - she thinks the Internet is for business only if you're at your work, but that's because she's so moral she can't even watch a movie where the bad guys get away with it. So it feels like I been away for ages.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. The party was a belter and everybody really enjoyed it although few could understand the attraction of staying sober all night on one's own birthday just to play records! Some of the young kids there were fascinated by the concept of putting a needle in a groove and getting music out, and a few thought a DJ was somebody in a hooded sweatshirt and Ray Bans who scratched turntables back and forth, so they were probably a bit disillusioned by a grey-haired guy in a white shirt and purple silk tie. But it was a great nostalgia-fest for all the people I went to school and university with. The sobering thought came afterwards when we went to buy some saucepans that had a 25-year guarantee and I realised I'll be 70 before they need replacing!

I shall examine the sites you mention - the Halloween party sounds cool. Not long after I came on board I submitted an article explaining why every time you start to cross an otherwise deserted road, a speeding car appears on the horizon, but it disappeared immediately after I submitted it. I thought maybe it went into the sub-editor's tray, but I think now it maybe just got excreted as a cyber vapour trail. Weeks later I finally decided that since I hadn't even got a rejection slip, it must have gone forever, so I decided to try again, better luck hopefully with "The Laws of Cartoon Physics". And some stuff I wrote about Paris and Vienna has been distilled into a bigger article, so somebody's noticing me.

Hope your husband's recovering okay. That sounds like pretty cutting edge surgery (argh, did I really write that?!), and yes, has to be better than bypass, which they did to Moira's dad and left him with a great big chest scar, though he just claims it's a war wound.

As for the jazz, I'm a fan of almost anything from trad to be-bop, and I like a lot of the modern stuff except for some of the smooth players like Kenny G. or Grover Washington, who just bore me with their emotionless tone. I've been listening to a lot of 50's and 60's "Blue Note" label recordings of late, which still sound great on a big hi-fi. Thelonius Monk (the piano player) did some nice stuff around then, and his son, T.S. Monk is a drummer with his own band now, and we got tickets for him at the Cork Festival. Great stuff it was, and they all looked like they were having a ball, no doubt helped by the Guinness (although in that part of the world they also drink similar black stuff called Murphy's and Beamish). And we enjoyed some of Charlie Minguses tunes played by the Mingus Big Band from New York. Can't beat the exhilarating sound of a big band in full flow. After the festival we toured the south west of Ireland: Blarney Castle, where we didn't kiss the stone because it's covered in everybody elses's saliva (and Moira doesn't reckon I need the Gift of the Gab anyway), and the Dingle Peninsula, where Ryan's daughter was filmed and you can look out over the Atlantic and know that that was once the edge of the known world...

Hey look at the time, I'll have to go soon, amd all I've done is talk and not even offered you any tea...

Hey SPINY!

Welcome back an a happy 45th from me as well, my friend. Let's hope that lots more may follow

I'm not going to add much to Blu's posting... she seems to have said it all (Thanx blu, you're great )

Your tea-kettle has served well, thanx for lending it to us.

And hello to you Festy-boy! Thanks for the wishes. My aim now is to outlive those damned saucepans, so I should be good for another quarter century at least. Maybe by 2024 "download times" will be a thing of the past, but by then I'll probably be remembering my schooldays but not who I am or what I had ten minutes ago for lunch. blu says you have a great SETI page, but there's a queue for this computer today, so I'll get over there when I can. We had good cups of tea everywhere we went in Ireland - must be something to do with the water. Still, Edinburgh's isn't bad, in fact, let's get that kettle filled right now!

Hey, Spiny!

I just looked at the Paris article. So which part did you contribute? Wondering where your expertise about Paris actually lies. And exactly where does Wonko live?

Paris is one of the few places I actually would like to visit.

Although I am a Sagittarian, I do not like to travel. There are only a few places in the world I would like to go. I really need to go to Paris, and London. And Stonehenge, Glastonbury, Avebury. And Florence [to look at Michaelangelo's 'David']. And wander around Scotland.

And I suppose if I go to Paris, I really need to go to Rome, too, but not as badly, and only because it is so, well, ...OLD.

But that's about it. Have no desire to go to the middle east or the orient. Nothing against these areas, fascinated by the history, just dont have any inclination to travel there. Don't care about Ireland [dunno why] but should like it since I probably have as many roots there as in Scotland.

And, of course, love wandering in the wilds of the True North. Want to travel across Canada, Alaska, and the like.

What are your favorite places? Ones you HAVE been to, and any you havent yet.

}:=8